Bombay Tandoori & Banquet UPDATE - Torrance

I might not have thought much of their take-out, but the lunch buffet is where it's at!

Get a plate and then get more until you just can't anymore. It's quite a selection of both vegetarian and not, plenty to eat, lots to like. 

Start by ordering a mango lassi - they're included with the buffet, and make sure they drop off a steaming basket of garlic naan - it's some of the best I've had to date. It's pleasantly chewy, nicely fluffy, and super fresh.

There are too many dishes to remember, and this plate holds maybe a third of all that they offer. The samosas are just okay, but their fish pakora is pretty good. Goat curry is my fave, and you can bet I went back for thirds. Spinach saag is just okay, chicken tikka masala as well. I also remember a really good Alu Gobhi - potato and cauliflower combo, and I think there was a channa masala, a veggie masala, a mild daal makhni. The green beans dish was probably my favorite veg, and there's even rice pudding at the end. 

All these complaints about inflation, but here, for less than $20, you can still get all the delicious comfort food you can eat.

Wicked Spoon UPDATE - Las Vegas, NV

They say you learn a lot in the first year in marriage; about you, about your partner, and about who you are together. People like to tell me that couples grow together as two individuals evolve and establish their identity as a couple. We have grown together quite a bit. And we have grown...to hate buffets. 

We don't hate Wicked Spoon, but it's the whole concept of buffets that bothers us. To have our favorite delicacies made into bulk-buys is just too painful to process, both emotionally AND physically considering the amount of butter and fat.

One thing I do like about Wicked Spoon is their small plates. They're much higher quality than you'd expect from a buffet, and there's an impressive variety. These cocktail shrimp are sizable, and the beet salad is nice. Both the calamari and the octopus ceviche are awful, though. The pulpo has the texture of pulverized pulp.

More shrimp, well-seasoned and tender over an extremely buttery polenta. Too much butter, but butter does taste good. 

The sushi bar is a bit disappointing today, with salmon sushi only and not much else that isn't California or cooked. Oh well, there's no disappointment these three pieces of bone marrow can't fix.

They do know how to make octopus right. The two slices over a garlicky squid ink linguine are tender and perfect. The pasta is al dente, which is impressive at a buffet. Charred broccolini breaks up all the butter, and what's the harm in a few more bones of marrow?

Don't get me started on the crab legs. These are NOT snow crab. Whether they're dungeness or Jonah, I'm not sure, but they are definitely not snow crab. They actually taste better than the pre-frozen, watery snow crab they had last time, but lying to your customers is NOT cool. Seafood scampi is made to order. Clams, mussels, and crawfish are a great combination, and I would have gotten more, but I didn't feel like waiting in line. Makin' it surf n' turf with leg of lamb. It's fresh, and I love it. 

I'm just here for the dessert anyway. Chocolate cake, mango mousse, creme brulee. The vanilla mousse cone is still my favorite, and the chocolate-covered strawberries are irresistible. They have a lot of gelato and sorbet as well, and it's always a good idea to grab a scoop on your way out. 

My opinion of Wicked Spoon hasn't changed, and I'm sure it'll be the same next time I'm there. I'm still pissed about the crab legs purely out of principle - I actually hope they don't change them back. And I will be back as well. Wicked Spoon is a little pricey, but it's pretty reasonable for all the stuff you get, and though I don't love buffets, this is one I can still find somewhat enjoyable.

Sterling Brunch - Las Vegas, NV

Michelin-starred restaurants aside, I've never wanted to try anything more than Sterling Brunch. Watching the Worth It guys lick their lips after a lobster tail as they wash down dark pearls of caviar with crystal glasses of champagne unleashed an insatiable lust for luxury, and when OpenTable didn't have a reservation, I cried harder than an onion-chopping chef who just poked himself in the eye. I sobbed to the reservations person at Bally's, and they were able to squeeze us in. I'm guessing I'm not the first sob story they've heard.

$95 is a lot for a buffet, but Sterling Brunch is no ordinary buffet. They have raw oysters, king crab legs, medium-rare filet, plump and pink lamb chops, and giant tails of lobster. Don't fall for it - it really is too good to be true. They can't have people eating them to bankruptcy so they put all sorts of safeguards in place, designed to pad their profits. The quality isn't great, and the filet is no quality cut. Like the lobster, the steak is so saturated in butter than I dare say they use a full stick for every piece. I may put away over 20 ounces of porterhouses at Mastro's, but Sterling Brunch got me after a couple bites. The lobster is supposed to be succulent, sweet, and light, but theirs is so doused in butter that there's no other taste, and it sits in my stomach like an expanding brick. The oysters aren't bad, but they're bland, and you really can't enjoy an oyster unless it's really fresh, which theirs are barely mediocre. The king crab legs are pretty fresh, but the spines make it extremely painful to pull apart. You can't eat much crab if your hands are bleeding. They have regular crab legs too, which are either Jonah or dungeness. Those are a lot less painful, and they're much easier to crack. And the lamb chops are delicious. 

The Sushi sucks, and it makes me angry. In a tiny little buffet with a relatively small selection, why even serve sushi if you're just going to go cheap? No one's paying $95 for California rolls and practically-blanched shrimp nigiri. And yes, that is all they have. There's caviar too and slightly stale pancakes to smear it on. Not bad but a bit too salty and briny for me. They also have a few lighter selections: tomatoes and mozzarella are enjoyable, and the berries are fresh. The Belgian waffles are adorable if you're looking for actual breakfast, and they have bacon and eggs and an omelet station as well.

Tread carefully at the dessert bar. People are literally pushing each other aside despite there being plenty to go around. My favorite is the raspberries hooded by macaron cookies, and the fruit tart is light and fun. The raspberry mousse-type martini glass is sweet and smooth, and I love the lollipop with melty chocolate inside and the crunchy pistachio layer on the white chocolate strawberry. At least all this gluttony ended on a nicer note.

Everything they do at Sterling Brunch has a motive. Even the unlimited champagne is meant to derail your gluttony with the strategic use of bubbles. I really love the spread here, but they could do without the sushi bar, and for that price, I would have liked to see a little more variety. The girls get roses on the way out, and I nibbled on this white chocolate lollipop as we weaved through a cloud of smoke to go sleep off our food coma at the Cosmo. 

When in Vegas, Sterling Brunch is an experience to be had and one you may want to splurge on, maybe only once. At least it still costs less than restaurant surf n' turf in this part of town. That said, Sterling Brunch is NOT an experience I ever need to repeat, but at least I got my money's worth in lobster tails.

Nkambeni - Kruger National Park, South Africa

"Basic" accommodations, she said. Platform tents, she said. She called it glamping. Glamping my ass; this is nicer than most hotels. They may be shaped like tents, and the walls may be fabric but how many tents come with temperature control and two showers, indoor and out?

Gorgeous accommodations, great food. Plenty of buffet stations at breakfast and dinner, lots of choices, and all of them fresh and beckoning.

Just a plate of vegetables to start. Fresh broccoli, mini zucchini and yellow squash. Perfectly cooked, lightly salted and peppered.

Vegetarian pasta bathed in tomato cream, candied sweet potatoes are spot-on, and crisp green beans add another option for veg. There's a gamey, gravy-heavy Impala Stew for the carnivores. 

No less than two drool-worthy meats at the carving station: I skip the chicken but I can't look away from the Lamb, which is out of this world, tender and juicy, best roast I've had in a while.

Dessert has all the good stuff. Flan, brownies, a sweet tart, and the delicious white stuff that tastes like a bag of sugar that married pudding and mousse.

I had seconds. It may be sweetness overload, but it's fun. There's also a traditional South Africa apple crumble with warm custard on top. The apples are more baked and chewy than gooey and soft, and the topping is like liquid icing but less sweet. Two major differences from the US, and I like both better.

Breakfast has all the important things and then a few more. Yay hash browns, and mushrooms and peppers make major yum with scrambled eggs. Yes, I grabbed a pickle for breakfast, and yes, there's even a fried fishcake if you're up for it.

We were with a tour group, but even if you're not, especially if you're not, Nkambeni is likely the best option outside the park. Conveniently located next to the entrance, it minimizes the back and forth and gets you some extra sleep before you line up for permits...Did I mention the tents are gorgeous?

Toucan Charlie's Buffet - Reno, NV

Sam's birthday buffet, aka another opportunity to stuff my face when I'm fresh out of the dessert, pretending that this is all for the benefit of a friend, none of it for myself. 

I feel so selfless slurping my free barely-alcoholic Bloody Marys, vodka weakened by the need for a profit margin.

The seafood section is another clear cost-cutter. It is a joke at lunchtime, consisting of three items total. The fried fish, can't even keep its own batter on, and I'm not touching it. The Shrimp Scampi has grocery-store alfredo covering slightly mushy shrimp, and the Clams aren't half bad when they're covered in baked-in garlic butter. The Oysters are in a different area, hoping you run out of room on your plate before you get there. Not that you're missing out. They're semi-fresh and bland from likely being stored improperly, though they're not beyond saving by dabs of well-placed cocktail sauce and horseradish with lemon. 

The hot bars are much better. The Prime Rib is a little tough, but they did have this perfectly medium-rare/rare cut for me. The dim sum Shrimp Hargow are okay as well. The wrapper falls apart at the bottom, but they were okay enough for me to eat all four of them with some pleasure.

I screwed up my Mongolian Stir-fry. My fault entirely, but they need to idiot-proof the process a little bit more (the idiot being me, not them!). Sadly, the pork is quite tender, and everything is properly cooked; there's just no way to gauge how much sauce you need, and I'm notoriously bad at guesstimating.

So far, this lunch at the okay-buffet has been exactly what I expected. Nothing stands out...and then I have the Pho. The pho is pho real the best thing at this buffet and probably the best pho in Reno. The broth is beefy and perfectly salted and spiced. The noodles are the exact al dente texture, and they even stick slices of rare steak in there that bathe in the steaming soup, exactly the way they should. I would have been stoked to have this at any restaurant in Reno - it's too good to get buried in a buffet!

Onto the sweet stuff. They have a sanitary fondue fountain, a welcome change from other buffets I've been to. This one is protected from bare-handed mouth-breathers behind a window of glass, and you order what you want from a sweet lady who does the dipping for you. I love the Rice Crispy Treat, but it's too much sugar with white chocolate (again, my fault for choosing it!). Same for the Marshmallows - I liked the milk chocolate more.

They really do hit every childhood dream at this dessert bar. They even have cups of Cotton Candy sweet n' good, a pink bubble of happy, sugar-air.

The gelato bar has quite the selection as well. Keeping it simple with Cookies n' Cream and Caramel. The gelato doesn't go with any of my pastries...like that's going to stop me. The Lemon Bar is flaky and light, the Fruit Tart is juicy with a creamy touch, and the Pecan Pie is great, full of pecan crunch and sweet southern comfort.

It's $27 per person for lunch. Not a bad deal, but not what I'd consider a deal. There are plenty of casinos in Reno, and I imagine Toucan Charlie's has many equals. I didn't hate it by any means, but there's no real reason to return unless they drastically lower the price. 

Wicked Spoon - Las Vegas, NV

$50 per person for a more upscale Vegas buffet. I haven't tried anything fancier than the seafood at Rio so I'm pretty stoked. We sit down to polite, speedy service, and the unlimited soft drinks are a plus. Our server keeps those drinks full, and she's easy to find when we need her. 

Already, things are looking up, and it's time to grab a plate. My plates are the gold standard of tangential, and I choose carefully, visiting every single station because FOMO is the only thing stronger than starvation. 

First plate starts Italian, but the seafood takes over soon. There's a truffle fettuccini with cream sauce, a dense alfredo and can't-say-no truffles. The pasta is impressively not overcooked. I love me a good polenta, and this one is smooth enough with juicy mushrooms on top, but both the polenta and the gravy have started to congeal. I had no less than 5 pieces of bone marrow with kimchee glaze. Marrow itself isn't great quality, but quantity can equal quality when you're talking about butter with a hint of meat. The glaze doesn't add anything, but I do recommend using salt. The sushi station is never skipped. Salmon and hamachi nigiri and some select rolls. All are fresh, and the rice is almost acceptable. There's mediocre but refreshing shrimp ceviche in the seafood section, but the Mexican corn is just meh. Props for the cotija cheese, though.

There wasn't enough space for snow crab legs on the first plate, but I'm making up for lost time on the second. There's also a very fresh tuna poke with fleshy red slice in a light shoyu, and it's one of the better things I've had. There's also a beet ravioli in butter that I can't resist, and this al dente decision is a good one. Pesto cream coats crispy gnocchi, satisfying, but I let it get cold.

The oxtail pho sounds irresistible, but it disappoints. The broth is too salty, and the meat on the bone is tough.

The dessert bar may be the best part of this buffet. Rows and stack of shiny, tiny things, a free-for-all sugarfest of a feast. Macarons are just okay - they're too hard to make well in this kind of bulk. The raspberry does taste like a sweetened raspberry, though. Props for being kinda close enough. I'm a sucker for a childhood snack, and the rice crispy treat has the right ratio of marshmallow to snap-crackle-pop. My favorite is the vanilla mousse cone; creamy mousse and a crispy cone. The chocolate tart is the best-made thing they have, a smooth mousse and a rich, crumbly center. I will also have the cake. ALL the cake. Tres leches is moist and milky-sweet, passionfruit fun-fetti will do, there are lemon cakes Sansa-style, and the mango cake is lighter than it looks. Oh, and the bread pudding is the best. The bread pudding is always the best.

It may be a mass-produced buffet, but Wicked Spoon can be wicked cool. The buffet stays well-supplied, and the service is a pleasant surprise, but we probably would have liked it more if we had gone at a better time. The never-ending buffet dilemma: 5PM beats the crowd, but all the stuff tends to sit. Brave a longer line and be prepared to fight for the better foods. Either option works; guess I'll have come back at a better time.