Smorgasburg LA - Los Angeles

A Brooklyn delight spreads to LA, a transcontinental delight! A bunch of food vendors, a plethora of people selling their crafts. A feast for the eyes and a feast for the mouth, and I'm so eager to go that I stalk every local article and blog looking for which booths to hit up. 

We start at Ugly Drum, the pit-smoked pastrami of our wildest ruben dreams. We split a Quarter-Pound Pastrami, a polite way to say half-sandwich because we don't want to fill up too fast. The photo doesn't look like much, but my cell phone camera sucks. Because nothing that comes out of Ugly Drum is remotely ugly. The pastrami glows deep, velvety red, like the smoldering coals from which it came. The fat is so finely marbled, that it all falls apart in your mouth. 

Nothing ugly at Ugly Drum because all the ugly lives a couple stalls down. Enter Brothecary. Hot on the heels of the bone-broth-fixes-everything trend, they gouge you for ten dollars for a single Bone broth XLB. The broth is mediocre, especially when served watered-down and lukewarm. 

But here's where it gets really ugly. Take a close look at this dumpling. It is RAW. They literally didn't even cook the thing, and they have the nerve for charge ten dollars for a neat little package of food poisoning.

Friends always make me feel better when frauds like Brothecary have me seething. Donut Friend bring some joy; Joy Lavender, to be exact. The dense-yet-fluffy ring of glaze is impeccably balanced, and the lavender adds its fragrance. 

The underrated Apple Fritter is fresh, a fried n' fruity piece of perfection.

Disappointment strikes once again, when we find that the iconic Banh Oui is a big banh NON. The Pork Belly Banh Mi is served on a mediocre not-quite baguette, and the slabs of pork have zero flavor. Their travel grill sucks the savor out of the pork, and it drowns in a full cup of aioli...which tastes like orange-colored mayo.

The donuts were so good, and I wanted to give the desserts a second chance. The desserts don't deserve a second chance if they're served by Paloma's Paletas. Pineapple Mint Mojito is a pop-shaped frozen water with no more than ten drops of pineapple juice inside. The single mint leaf in the middle is the highlight of this paleta, and it overpowers the pineapple-ish water. I like my popsicles to be lighter and not so sweet, but this is straight-up sucking on an ice cube...an extremely expensive ice cube. 

No way something like this would happen in Brooklyn! A street fair of this caliber should have died in an hour and yet Smorgasburg has persisted for seven years. I cannot believe this is what I drove all the way up here for, and I hope it won't be around much longer!

Chart House - Redondo Beach

It's been nine months since I walked across a makeshift stage in San Pedro to say goodbye. Nine months since residency officially ended, but it's feels like yesterday, and sometimes, I almost forget how much I miss them all.

The night at Chart House is not one such night. It's Nichelle's birthday, and although we really should celebrate her every day, this is the day that brings us together again. It's like another one of our girl dates except I don't just get one awesome person, I get an entire table.

A pretty place, this Chart House. The restaurant juts out over its foundation, hovering over the beach on long-legged stilts. The waves crash on the rocks and pull at the sand, but there is no view more beautiful than the one from my seat at the end of the table. The moonlight frames the faces of so many good women and men...And when the restaurant takes the time to print "Happy Birthday Nichelle" on the menu, you know what kind of service to expect.

Dinner is fun from the start, like a cold Shrimp Ceviche with Crispy Fried Avocado. The shrimp is tender and fresh, the gooey avocado adds a nice contrast, and the plantain chips are the best. The juice is a bit too light, but together the flavors flow like the shallow banter that marks the start of the party.

A plate of fresh Oysters lands next, a platter of acquired tastes. Theirs are briny and Pacific, and they make me miss my buttery Boston Wellfleets.

The Calamari is just plain cute. The rings are fried thin and tossed in a spicy, sweet n' sour sauce. Nothing wrong with this one, but it's the kind of light-hearted starter you'd expect from P.F. Chang's.

The conversation takes a dark pause when we reminisce about people we like the least. Overbearing attendings, irrational encounters, conversations that make us choke like the Sea Bass. It is a hulking hunk, a dried-up chunk in the place of a buttery, flaky bass. Think nuked swordfish with a side of veggies and rice.

The Crab Cakes are exactly the way I like. Mostly lump meat, minimal on the breadcrumbs. You can really taste the sweetness...and you can really skip the watery veggie orzo.

Pan Glazed Shrimp & Scallops really hit the spot. We're supposed to share, but it's hard not to be selfish about this plate of shellfish. The shrimp are meaty and fresh, and the scallops are seared just right. The cauliflower mash is like a thinner, sweeter polenta-married-grits, and it's my favorite side of the night.

All good things do come to an end, and there's a hushed regret when the dessert menus are handed out. The Raspberry Sorbetini is a brief moment of cheer but it's hard to get too excited about raspberry sorbet in a martini glass, no matter how smooth the sorbet.

The "Original" Mud Pie is boring. It tastes good and all, but it's basically a Kahlua-and-milk in an ice-cream-pie, the kind you get from Baskin-Robbins.

The Hot Chocolate Lava Cake takes the longest to make, and it's the most worth waiting for. The Godiva chocolate liquer cake is one the the slightly better iterations I've had, moist to the molten chocolate core.

Innovation. The new frontier of food. These are NOT the terms you will use when describing the food at Chart House. You will find your classics, you will find the tried-and-true. Very few things will offend, but even fewer will excite. Steer clear of the fish lest it all turn out like the sea bass, but it is otherwise a lovely place to eat with older family or unadventurous friends.

Din Tai Fung - Torrance

I've eaten in 4 DTF's, in two different countries and I still don't get it. The Hong Kong original must have really rocked somebody's world because I'm still not that impressed. 

Look, I get it. I like the classic Pork XLB a lot, and I can appreciate a textbook thin, chewy wrapper and a savory well-balanced broth, but I still have to go to southern China to blow my mind. I'm not hater - I really do think they're great, but they're just not the dumpling holy grail that everyone makes them out to be. 

And aside from the main-attraction XLB, everything else is just okay. The Shrimp and Pork Wontons have a dense, meaty center, and the wonton wrappers wave their wings as they bask in a rather bland broth,

I do appreciate the Shrimp and Pork Shumai more this time around - last time someone forgot to add the salt. 

Just be sure to avoid the Pork and Sticky Rice Shumai. The rice is mushy and overcooked, and you can't even detect the pork.

Every time someone asks my opinion on DTF, I get THE GLARE. I blaspheme when I give a less-than-enthusiastic endorsement of everyone's dumpling icon, and there's this look of utter confusion that follows, as if I said the sky was no longer blue. I'm increasingly tempted to lie, when the looks of innocence shattered begin to appear, but if you're asking my honest opinion; I like DTF a lot, but I just can't love it all that much.

Deluca Trattoria - El Segundo

I never would have found this hidden gem on my own, and it would have been my loss. It's buried by Main Street, El Segundo, underrated and often overlooked...not so different from the owners' hometown of Naples.

Step inside and you'll see that the service is as swift as it is attentive. My Carciofi Alla Griglia arrives in record time. Grilled artichoke, all fired up, doused in garlic and olive oil; all I ever want in the world right now.

Another classic, the Cozze al Vapore, mussels that steam in a white wine sauce and a bold breath of garlic.

When it comes to pasta, Deluca doesn't mess around. They import a special flour, and it shows in these thin, cohesive ribbons of perfect Pappardelle al Gamberi e Capesante. Juicy grilled shrimp and scallops simmer in a fragrant cream with a tarragon bouquet. 

They're out of steaks, so the Bistecca Fiorentina waits for a more fortunate night, though the Osso Bucco is hardly a settle. I don't do veal, but those who won't do a tender, fall-off-the-bone, slow-cooked for 48 hours veal are few and far between. Densely-tender, chunky shreds bathe in a meaty gravy-gone-mad, lightened by a side of crispy brussels sprouts and creamy, semi-sweet polenta.

It's always going to be Italian food with this particular friend, but I can rest assured that we''ll never be eating sh** when we'll shooting the sh**. The food is warm, and the service is warmer. Deluca is everything you want when you're in the company of friends. Every ounce of the atmosphere vibrates; buzzing and beaming with each table's collective joy. Have that with a bite of their pasta perfecta, and believe me, it will give you all the feels.

Tsujita LA Artisan Noodle - Los Angeles

Excess and indulgence, seen on both sides of Sawtelle. The line is always long so this twenty-minute wait felt like mercy. Their regular ramen was a bit too much when I tried it, but tall tales are told about their Tsukemen.

I rarely go for the dipping ramen, but this one is hard to resist. Check out the glistening cold ropes and chunks of half-fat chashu. 

The broth lays it on thick, a semi-congee of porky fish, impeccably balanced. The cohesion of salty and sweet, the harmony of hot and cold, the zap of lime zest (squeeze that wedge!), the melty yolk of a soft-boiled egg, at a perfectly-calibrated intensity. It stimulates and it fascinates but not so much as to overwhelm the senses.

Finally, a safe place to play with my food. Even the act of fishing for a single long noodle and dipping without slipping is an experience in itself, and experience that should rank high on every LA bucket list.