Pizzana - Marina del Rey

It’s quite the ordeal to order on DoorDash, with the expanded range fee and a high tip for the poor Dasher stuck in southbound traffic. 

But wow, is it worth every penny, even lukewarm by the time it arrives. 

The Funghi is smothered in fresh seasonal mushrooms. The mozzarella base is mild, allowing the earthy fragrance to float right through. Fontina adds a creamy richness, caramelized onion a bit of gooey sweet. The crust is a perfect chew, though I imagine it lost some crisp along the way. No matter, the dough is delightful. 

Sweet and spicy dominate the Diavolo, with long slices of salami with sass and spunk. A sweet drizzle of honey makes it hotter, and the charred shallots finish with just a little hit of bitter ash to ground it. The sauce is toasty and roasty, more smooth than it is tangy.

I really didn't expect to like it this much, but wow, I am in love. Their operation seems a bit more casual and a little less upper crust, but their crust is hardly inferior, and I think their toppings can compete with even the likes of Pizzeria Bianco. Would absolutely pay all the fees to feast on this stuff again. 

Kazunori - Marina Del Rey

I had every intention of writing a positive review. With a simple menu of quality ingredients, a streamlined production of made-to-order hand rolls, and a no-fuss service fee to remove the stress of tipping, I always thought Kazunori was onto something. 

And they still are in some ways. Their basics are solid; the toro is good, the yellowtail is creamy, the scallops are fresh, and what’s not to like about lobster and crab? 

Just stick to the simple things. They try to make sexy-sounding specials, and I was dumb enough to order Ankimo. Is there ankimo in here? Looks like it, but that thin little stripe drowns in an even thicker stripe of “miso” sauce that I can only describe as slightly citrus snot. The creamy, bilious flavor of actual ankimo is entirely missing, as if the goal is to trick people who hate liver into eating liver, the way you try to bury kale in a kids cookie. You get a cookie, but it tastes like crap. 

I had the ankimo last, and it literally ruined my lunch. I only ate half the roll because I actually gagged after a couple of bites. I’d come to Kazunori again if someone else did, but honestly, the ankimo was so off-putting I don’t think I would choose to come back because of that alone. 

Uovo - Marina Del Rey

If you're going to make a good pasta, you really have to commit. 

And no one commits like Uovo. Their pasta is as authentically Italian as possible, handmade and hand-cut by Italian chefs in Italia itself. The result is a ropy, yellow al dente spaghetti with a distinct flavor of a sweet-not-sulfurous local egg. Amatriciana adheres to a glutinous surface, a smooth sauce of tart tomato that has a sun-kissed finish. It doesn't look like much, but those juicy little lardons will linger. 

At least one pasta is a must, but the apps are not to be overlooked. The Yellowtail Crudo is buttery-fresh, with stunning slices of the pink stuff, topped with a citrus oil and a bite of Fresno chili.

Buttuta di Carne is a wagyu tartare slick with olive oil. Lemon and a nutty parmigiano makes the flavors pop, a standout side for sure. 

Not wanting a mind-blowing meal? Steer clear of Uovo. The care and attention they give to every bit of every dish makes for a memorable menu, and I don't think they're capable of anything mediocre!

HiHo Cheeseburger - Marina Del Rey

It’s a BURGER, how good can it be? 

Really good. It can be Really REALLY good. It can be the burger that makes the other burgers bow. 

A double Cheeseburger is the one to get, and you ain’t seen nothin’ yet. You can taste feel every little grain of ground explode over your taste buds like a vial-ful of wagyu juice. Cooking coats every bit of the paper-thin patty with a crispy crust. 

Add pastrami for a fee if you’re looking to double the decadence, but the standalone burger is already a standout.

The twice-fried fries are addictive, a side that is essential and to be eaten by the fistful.

The Willie Mae is fabulously fried, hot chicken that has you hankering for more. The breading is bomb, and it’s a signature sandwich, even at a joint for burgers.

Hold your horses, there’s pie to purchase. Banana cream is supposed to be best, but they sell out of everything long before the night is done. I snagged a Key Lime, and that pudding filling with whipped meringue makes a strong statement with some seriously sour sass.

Obviously order the Cheeseburger, but don’t just order one to go. The minute you finish one, you realize you’d sell your soul for another. 

Charcoal Venice - Marina Del Rey

I gotta feelin' that tonight's gonna be a good night.

That tonight's gonna be a good night. 

That tonight's gonna be a good, GOOD niiiiiight,,,

I'm no black-eyed pea, but I got a parking spot a quarter-block from Charcoal for free. Street parking in Venice?! Whaaaaaaaatttt...

Tonight's the night, let's live it up. Gimme the specials menu, and let's get some those out-of-this-world entrees and apps. 

Persimmons & Burrata: two varieties, two ways. The Fuyu and Hachiya are detectably and delectably different, one is pulpy and slick, the other is subtle and soft. The burrata breaks down to mozz-wrapped cream in a honey vinegar rain.

The Grilled Kanpachi gives you the toughest of choices: Collar or belly? I can't resist the decadent meat-mix the composes a good collar, but this pillowy bite of belly with a splash of yuzu has no regrets. Small, fatty flakes fall apart with the gentlest touch, and this flame-kissed filet starts to melt before it even hits your mouth.

Beef is easier on the palate, but this Lamb Tartare has some serious game. The flavor is strong, and it doesn't alight, it hits. It clatters like the stealthy cymbal, its own orchestra of dense, slick brawn with a shawl of fermented turnips to soothe the sting and pine nuts to iron out the rougher edges.

Smoked Lamb Ribs are rich and heavy, and both lambs make their own bold statements. The barbecue is dark, the smoky fat cuts deep, and you can savor the soot for hours.

I could have used more boldness with the Smoky Grilled Chicken Wings, but they are enjoyable all the same. I would have liked more heavy smoke to sink down to the bone and permeate the meat, like a wing of coal. Not quite reduced to ash, but the wings are infallibly tender with complements of a vinegar veneer.

Everything is go big or go home at Charcoal. The flavors are of the big n' rich variety, even in the dessert. The Banana S'mores Panna Cotta is a thick base of chocolate mousse with a blanket of toasted marshmallow. This meal-ender is a beast and requires at least 3 spoons to tame.

The Chocolate Peanut Butter Crunch Cake is a satisfying layer cake...that you don't really need. The McConnell's double peanut butter chip ice cream steals the show; delicate slivers of PB flakes crunch in rich vanilla, the best scoop of my life.

Absolutely lovely. Charcoal proves that you can put anything on a grill and make it good, and they do it with style and skill. You get the grit, but it comes with a fine-tuned finness, a polished profile for the palate. Charcoal gets some points for creativity and even more for taste.

Snow Flower Ice - Marina del Rey

Shave ice. OMG shave ice. OMGOMGOMG you HAVE to try shave ice, or you haven't lived. I've gotten really tired of hearing about shave ice, and I wasn't sure what to expect the first time I tried it, but it's hard to understand the hype surrounding this gramatically-incorrect cold-cup. 

I tried my first ever shave ice at Snow Flower, and I have to say I was underwhelmed. The ice in the Milk & Cookies Snow Flower is made from sweetened milk instead of water, which adds a little something. The chocolate sauce is nicely absorbed, and the milky ice makes nice with the dry bits of nuts and Oreo, but the still-watery combination feels somehow incomplete.

I lack experience with shave ice, but Snow Flower executes theirs flawlessly. And while nothing will stop me from giving it another try, I feel like it's just not my cup of ice.

Hearing Irori Roar – Marina del Rey

With Katy Perry on the radio, my stomach picketing an empty protest, and my hangry mood exerting itself, you were gonna hear three kinds of roars in my car while I was searching for the doorway to Irori, one of several shops set around a small, strange rotunda.

If you really want to hear this authentically Japanese establishment roar, try wearing your shoes past the foyer. But after the shoes were off, it didn't take long to find our table, and it took even less time to order. Hanger is pretty good motivation for the indecisive.  

We started with Soy Miso Eggplant that roared with the flavor of something bitter and something burnt. The soy is sticky, the miso is sweet, and the eggplant is soft without being mushy. But somewhere in the process of combining these seemingly harmless elements, a weird, bitterly charred aftertaste snuck in.

The only thing that made me roar about the Eel Avocado Maki was the price tag. The eel was some of the softest, sweetest, among the best I've had, but $7 for a 6-piece maki is only worth it if the eel you’re eating swallowed a pearl.

Expertly cut and crafted, the Sashimi roars on the tastebuds as each smooth slice slides along. The salmon is sweet, the snapper is snappy, and the tuna is tender. There really is no better option anywhere if it’s raw stuff you’re craving.

My stomach wasn’t roaring in hunger anymore by this point, but it started roaring in protest when the server offered me the dessert menu. But my slightly-sweet tooth still couldn't resist some slightly-battered Sweet Potato Tempura.  

I’ve had plenty of good sushi, and I’ve had plenty of great sushi, but I rarely have such authentic sushi despite living in a mostly Japanese neighborhood. Irori’s ambiance draws on the composure of the culture it’s modeled after and is conducive to classy conversation while your feet dangle under the floor height table. The key word here is classy so try not to roar too much, even if you’re raving about your food.

Cashing Out at C&O Trattoria – Marina del Rey

The only thing worse than being a fly with no wings is being a foodie with no cash for food. Loads of loans plus paychecks backdated two weeks aren’t exactly buying me anything other than more debt, and believe me, I’m pretty backdated when it comes to value. Current net worth: -$254,843.

So when I go out to eat, I’m basically choosing which restaurants at which I want to lower my net worth. No pressure, C&O, no pressure.

Despite all that pressure, this cute, casual little bayside bistro started off strong when I realized that you can get full here for free. Because here they don’t just start you with a basket of cold bread. Instead you get gaggles of garlic knots, so fresh out of the oven you’ll burn your fingers if you don’t wait. And before you can devour your whole plate, someone brings you more while the ones in front of you are warm. And they’re awesome. Full of flavor, chewy and moist, I ate so many of these greasy little gizmos that I probably won’t need to consume any calories for the next month. Current net worth: still -$254,843.64.

The garlic knots were promising so I figured I couldn’t go wrong with something else bready and fried. Unfortunately the Calamari Fritti wasn’t my best bet. These weirdly battered rings were more soggy than chewy and didn’t taste too fresh. Current net worth: regrettably -$254,854.64.

Every time I see pappardelle on the menu, I simply can’t say no. There’s always something special about those wide, chewy ribbons in al dente, and the Pappardelle Pasta with Boneless Beef Shortribs was certain to be no exception. $16 was a splurge, but I assumed the sauce with asparagus, basil, and shallots would be totally worth it. Too bad the promised Chianti wine sauce was auspiciously absent unless you count the oily pink water at the bottom. Believe me when I say no one but Jesus could have turned this water to wine. Current net worth: a disappointing -$254,862.64 because the dish was split.

After two rounds of utterly unimpressive, the Rigatoni al Forno was exactly the comfort I was craving. When those tender tubes are tossed and oven-baked, the heat melts the creamy ricotta, interspersing it with some sharper spinach and a tiny bit of meat sauce tang.  The mozzarella acts as a sweet, gooey glue to hold this cohesive casserole of slightly-bland comfort. Current net worth: a shared -$254,870.14.

We were full of carbs, but when you’ve had that many, what’s one more? And what Italian meal is complete without a chocolate-coated Cannoli? The crunchy shell was perfect, and the cream is the perfect sugared sweet. Net worth now: an increasingly satisfied -$254,877.09.

The last two courses gave me hope for C&O, but I still left thinking that the gads of garlic knots were the best part of my meal. And considering the depth of my debt, it’s pretty sad when the best things are free, and the garlic knots and the Italian love song sing-along every hour were pretty priceless.