Cashing Out at C&O Trattoria – Marina del Rey

The only thing worse than being a fly with no wings is being a foodie with no cash for food. Loads of loans plus paychecks backdated two weeks aren’t exactly buying me anything other than more debt, and believe me, I’m pretty backdated when it comes to value. Current net worth: -$254,843.

So when I go out to eat, I’m basically choosing which restaurants at which I want to lower my net worth. No pressure, C&O, no pressure.

Despite all that pressure, this cute, casual little bayside bistro started off strong when I realized that you can get full here for free. Because here they don’t just start you with a basket of cold bread. Instead you get gaggles of garlic knots, so fresh out of the oven you’ll burn your fingers if you don’t wait. And before you can devour your whole plate, someone brings you more while the ones in front of you are warm. And they’re awesome. Full of flavor, chewy and moist, I ate so many of these greasy little gizmos that I probably won’t need to consume any calories for the next month. Current net worth: still -$254,843.64.

The garlic knots were promising so I figured I couldn’t go wrong with something else bready and fried. Unfortunately the Calamari Fritti wasn’t my best bet. These weirdly battered rings were more soggy than chewy and didn’t taste too fresh. Current net worth: regrettably -$254,854.64.

Every time I see pappardelle on the menu, I simply can’t say no. There’s always something special about those wide, chewy ribbons in al dente, and the Pappardelle Pasta with Boneless Beef Shortribs was certain to be no exception. $16 was a splurge, but I assumed the sauce with asparagus, basil, and shallots would be totally worth it. Too bad the promised Chianti wine sauce was auspiciously absent unless you count the oily pink water at the bottom. Believe me when I say no one but Jesus could have turned this water to wine. Current net worth: a disappointing -$254,862.64 because the dish was split.

After two rounds of utterly unimpressive, the Rigatoni al Forno was exactly the comfort I was craving. When those tender tubes are tossed and oven-baked, the heat melts the creamy ricotta, interspersing it with some sharper spinach and a tiny bit of meat sauce tang.  The mozzarella acts as a sweet, gooey glue to hold this cohesive casserole of slightly-bland comfort. Current net worth: a shared -$254,870.14.

We were full of carbs, but when you’ve had that many, what’s one more? And what Italian meal is complete without a chocolate-coated Cannoli? The crunchy shell was perfect, and the cream is the perfect sugared sweet. Net worth now: an increasingly satisfied -$254,877.09.

The last two courses gave me hope for C&O, but I still left thinking that the gads of garlic knots were the best part of my meal. And considering the depth of my debt, it’s pretty sad when the best things are free, and the garlic knots and the Italian love song sing-along every hour were pretty priceless.