Sapp Coffee Shop - Los Angeles

Try the coffee if you're in the mood, but this cafe is all about the nood. 

They make the classics like Som Tom, but salads are not their signature. It's a good papaya salad, but don't come here for just that.

The remaining menu is overwhelming, and it's best to eat by number. No Stranger Things here, but number 11 is still the best. Chewy Jade Noodles form fresh spirals of spinach topped with slurp-worthy slices of tender BBQ pork and duck. A pile of shredded real crab turns it into a carby surf n' turf. 

Number 18 is their other claim to fame, the Sen Chun Phad Pu. The stir-fried egg noodles are gelatinous al dente with a sweet finish offset by a potent chili garlic. The crab meat adds some extra savor, and the almost-omelet pulls it all together while holding in the moisture. 

They're also known for the boat noodle soup, but I couldn't eat any more that day. Their noodle dishes are hearty and filling, and if the soups are anything like the stir fry, I'll be back for another slurp.  

Bhan Knom Thai - Los Angeles

I've been here a dozen time, but never with good enough photos to share. 

I still don't have good photos, but the most delicious desserts are rarely the most photogenic. But the Sticky Rice with taro, supple and gooey bites with sweetened taro in the middle, fragrance lent and held by tightly wrapped banana leaf.

The Thai steamed cupcakes are spongy little puffs, but I prefer the Golden Flowers over the cakes. A dense and slightly grainy bud holds a floral scent of jasmine so strong you can taste it, and it concentrates into the sugar like honey.

The Crispy sweet Crepes; so simple and so easy to eat all of in one sitting, a thin and crispy sheet smeared with coconut cream and egg-yolk sugar. 

When in Thai Town, eat your entrees first. Leave your car where it is and walk off your most generous and most inexpensive meal on your way to Bhan Knom. They make best desserts; Just make sure you've saved some room.

Pa Ord Noodle - Los Angeles

My new favorite town is Thai Town! Pa Ord Noodle tastes like a Bangkok cart-cafe, and the manageable portions with next-to-nothing cost is making it my happiest place on earth.

Is it even a Thai meal if it doesn't start with a Papaya Salad? This one is juicy and crisp, and the spicy juices are soaking deep into the papaya.

This Thai Sausage is a novelty becoming an obsession, a sweet n' sour fermented tender, and I love how the grains of sticky rice poke out between the meat.

The Thai Spaghetti with Crab Curry seems to be a signature dish. I've never seen this one before, and I need to see it again. The curry is a burning assault of red-hot lava, coconut sweetness carrying a crabby essence. It drips over the fine, glassy noodles, and we just keep eating through the fire. 

There's a soup craving, a sore spot for a simple Tom Kha with chicken. This one is light but a little creamy comfort.

They're known for this Boat Noodle bowl, a soy-ish soup, so thoroughly savory with soft pork, grainy liver, and fluffy little fish balls.

Duck over rice is dense with a shroud of sweet tamarind gravy, a satisfying and filling poultry.

The Pork Waterfall is a rare find. Fish sauce gives this tender pork a silky sheen with a sour finish highlighted by fermented rice and boss basil. 

The meal is at an end. Not because we can't eat anymore but because we've licked every plate clean. And we're stuffed. We split the bill evenly, including the tip. $35.60. FOR TWO PEOPLE. $35.60 for two not-just-full but stuffed, not-just-satisfied, but grinning ear-to-ear happy from food that has us not just pleasantly surprised, but legitimately impressed. Yup, definitely my happiest place on earth.

Rodded Restaurant - Los Angeles

We hiked to the Hollywood Sign and back. A historical icon of Los Angeles, the starkly beautiful hillside eyesore to which we owe our fame and fortune...and we HAD to take the intermediate route. 

I've been skipping leg day longer than Brangelina have been collecting kids so this hike is turning me into an unimaginable puddle of sweat, and the cool, dry SoCal day is adding a dusty sheen. 

There's a limit to where you can eat when you're glistening with nothing good, but Rodded is casual to the core, and they're happy to put a refreshing glass of Thai Iced Tea in front of my personal dust cloud. And if it isn't the best Thai iced tea ever! They use real tea and it shows. The tea is darker and heavier, but it adds oomph and earth to a thickening sugar-milk.

Their chalkboard is as colorful as their specials, bright flavor-bursts like this cold Spicy Squid Salad. Tender calamari take on a delightful, chilly-chewy texture with a flash of Thai chili.

The Duck Noodle Soup is the dish they're known for; stewed duck so soft it's melty with crisp bean sprouts in a thinner shoyu ramen-like broth but with the gamier flavor of darker duck. Your choice between 5 different noodles, all of which are debatable-y best. The al dente egg noodles were a good call, but these noodles are like Pokemon - gotta catch 'em all. 

They also make a mean Hainan Chicken. Savory and blanched well, though the bland rice leaves you wanting. 

There's a Beef with Flat Noodles that comes with tender beef and a thicker, soy-based sauce. 

It's surprisingly different from the pad see yew-like Pad Kwuar Kai, a classic noodle stir fried with chicken and egg.

Cash only, but don't bring the Benjamins. The emergency $20 you always keep in your wallet can pay for a full meal unless you're famished. And if you're too poor to travel to Thailand, just come to Rodded Restaurant to eat like you're already there!

Ruen Pair - Los Angeles

I'm not a writer, I'm an editor. Which is a nice way of saying I don't have a creative bone in my body. Unfortunately, I only have critical bones in my body. 

I don't know how to build things up; I only know how to deconstruct them, in a way that can be constructive. (My logic makes even my own head hurt). My constructive criticism can be as sweet and mollifying as a perfect, sweet Thai Ice Tea or it can burn with all the happy wrath of a perfect Papaya Salad. Crisp green papaya soaks up the chili burn, with a surprising element of strongly-salty, briny black crab.

My critiques are usually either acerbic or effusive, but I occasionally find a middle ground. I have no strong feelings toward the Tom Yum Goong, for example, a standard hot n' sour soup with a comfortable ratio of juicy mushrooms to soft shrimp.

The Spicy Beef Salad is a solid starter as well. The chewy-yet-tender beef is enriched with lime and chili and enhanced with a kick off red onion.

I'm not a cook, I'm a foodie. It's a nice way of saying I can't come up with a remotely meaningful culinary creation of any kind, but I'm happy to appreciate yours and just as ready to tell you what I think is wrong with it.

Except there's nothing remotely reproachable about the Sauteed Morning Glory, a simple stir-fry of fresh, crunchy green stalks in soy.

The Roasted Duck Curry is not so immune from my criticism, however. The red curry is watery and lackluster, and even chunks of pineapple and duck couldn't save it.

The Pork Jerky isn't what I would call creative, but it's just the right combination of chewy and moist. The dipping sauce gives it a kick, and despite riding on the bottom rung of the innovation ladder, it's a solid step if you're trying to climb up.

I love the tried-and-true, and I'm a sucker for the classics, but as an utterly un-creative person whose cooking prowess is limited to a slow cooker and a microwave, I do also value creativity and appreciate chefs who take a risk.

The Pad Thai is the most risk-less classic there is. Ruen Pair performs one of the better reiterations I've had, almost as good as what comes off a street cart. The rice noodles have the perfect chewy, slightly-sticky texture, tempered by egg a sweeter peanut crunch.

The Spicy Catfish is quite the creative risk, and it's on a wavelength of its own. Deep fried slices of catfish smeared with curry paste and sweet chili made me cry tears of joy...Okay, fine, so they were tears of spice intolerance, but I swear there was joy mixed in.

The Nahm Dtok Mhu is a risk every time they make it, and when it comes to the seasoning and sauce of fermented rice, Ruen Pair has Isaan Station beat.

To say I'm creatively impaired would be putting it mildly - even my stick figures need a label. It seems I was destined to provide unsolicited and usually unwanted critiques for others. Unfortunately, places like Ruen Pair are not where my calling lies. I tried so much and could hardly say one thing against it!

Siam Sunset - Los Angeles

A wise person once said "if you want to win, go back to basics." Okay, fine, that person was a character from an early season of Grey's Anatomy, which isn't exactly the best source from which to be pulling proverbs. But in the case of Siam Sunset it actually kind of makes sense.

Don't expect frills from Siam Sunset. Their communal cafeteria-esque tables and wandering servers are about as basic as you can get. But basic doesn't always mean bad - Siam Sunset's basics are as authentic as it gets.

The Thai Iced Tea is as sweet as sugar, a textbook mixture of tea and milk. But if Thai tea had a gold standard, this one would be it. 

The Thai tea calms and cools, and it soothes the fiery burn from the chili-soaked Papaya Salad, a cool and crisp Julienne with a slight hint of sweet-and-salty. It's just papaya, but it's as perfect as papaya gets.

The Glass Noodle Salad is soft and hot, made savory with piles of ground pork and sprigs of cilantro, a great contrast to the cold, spicy papaya.

You can't have basic Thai without some sort of curry, and the Duck Curry hits the spot. The curry is out-of-this-world thick and coconut-milky, and you can taste the duck infused into every sip of broth. 

You're not going to get 5-star service at Siam Sunset, but you will get Thai food that takes you to the streets of Bangkok. It's Thai food at its most basic, which is Thai food at its finest.