I'm not a writer, I'm an editor. Which is a nice way of saying I don't have a creative bone in my body. Unfortunately, I only have critical bones in my body.
I don't know how to build things up; I only know how to deconstruct them, in a way that can be constructive. (My logic makes even my own head hurt). My constructive criticism can be as sweet and mollifying as a perfect, sweet Thai Ice Tea or it can burn with all the happy wrath of a perfect Papaya Salad. Crisp green papaya soaks up the chili burn, with a surprising element of strongly-salty, briny black crab.
My critiques are usually either acerbic or effusive, but I occasionally find a middle ground. I have no strong feelings toward the Tom Yum Goong, for example, a standard hot n' sour soup with a comfortable ratio of juicy mushrooms to soft shrimp.
The Spicy Beef Salad is a solid starter as well. The chewy-yet-tender beef is enriched with lime and chili and enhanced with a kick off red onion.
I'm not a cook, I'm a foodie. It's a nice way of saying I can't come up with a remotely meaningful culinary creation of any kind, but I'm happy to appreciate yours and just as ready to tell you what I think is wrong with it.
Except there's nothing remotely reproachable about the Sauteed Morning Glory, a simple stir-fry of fresh, crunchy green stalks in soy.
The Roasted Duck Curry is not so immune from my criticism, however. The red curry is watery and lackluster, and even chunks of pineapple and duck couldn't save it.
The Pork Jerky isn't what I would call creative, but it's just the right combination of chewy and moist. The dipping sauce gives it a kick, and despite riding on the bottom rung of the innovation ladder, it's a solid step if you're trying to climb up.
I love the tried-and-true, and I'm a sucker for the classics, but as an utterly un-creative person whose cooking prowess is limited to a slow cooker and a microwave, I do also value creativity and appreciate chefs who take a risk.
The Pad Thai is the most risk-less classic there is. Ruen Pair performs one of the better reiterations I've had, almost as good as what comes off a street cart. The rice noodles have the perfect chewy, slightly-sticky texture, tempered by egg a sweeter peanut crunch.
The Spicy Catfish is quite the creative risk, and it's on a wavelength of its own. Deep fried slices of catfish smeared with curry paste and sweet chili made me cry tears of joy...Okay, fine, so they were tears of spice intolerance, but I swear there was joy mixed in.
The Nahm Dtok Mhu is a risk every time they make it, and when it comes to the seasoning and sauce of fermented rice, Ruen Pair has Isaan Station beat.
To say I'm creatively impaired would be putting it mildly - even my stick figures need a label. It seems I was destined to provide unsolicited and usually unwanted critiques for others. Unfortunately, places like Ruen Pair are not where my calling lies. I tried so much and could hardly say one thing against it!
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