Hatch - Los Angeles

What a Valentine's venue, with a luxuriously focused menu, and an intimate ambiance to make you forget you're in the middle of a mall. 

We want a strong start with their famous Black Chicken Karaage, a bowl of fried thighs brined for two days. It's a bowl of juicy coals, but I'm sad to say it's bland. The black garlic ranch dip is too creamy to compensate, and I conclude that it looks like coals but doesn't have the fire.

Broccolini is better, a perfect vegetable with glamourized garlic chips.

They're out of the beef tongue, a tragedy, and a skewer of Chicken Heart doesn't sub. It's tender but nothing special. Perfectly cooked, but nothing I need again. 

But the Chicken Meatball is such perfection, so tender the juices drip. Dip excessively in egg yolk for extra extravagance. 

Forget the sweets, the perfect ending here is savory. An entire foot of buttery Bone Marrow, sizzling from the grill, drizzled onto a garlic mochi bread with a crispy-chewy contrasting texture. 

It's so pretty, but almost too pretty, clean but a bit too sterile. The preparation is perfect but the flavors seem muted, and it dampens the experience of this beautifully sexy place. I liked it, but I didn't love it - give me the nitty-gritty of the South Bay's Shensengumi and the dark boisterousness of Torihei any day. 

Borneo Kalimantan Cuisine - Alhambra

They hope you like spicy because everything here has a little sass. Not enough to make you sweat but just enough to make you eat. 

Let’s be honest here, no one gets Chicken Sate for the chicken. Borneo’s sweet and savory peanut sauce is right on, simultaneously rich and deep. I do wish they had soaked the sate in it rather than keeping them separate - the meat was a little dry. 

Laksa is the curry king, like the khao soi of another country, sweet and smooth, with creamy coconut and a sniff of the sea. The egg noodles were like a dime-bag ramen so try any other instead. 

My favorite dish in any country is probably flat rice noodles, stir fried with a soy-based sauce. The Borneo Style at Borneo is wonderful, and I love the sweet sauce with a slip of shrimp. 

Roti Prata is bread and curry, competing for the title of best of Borneo. 

Nasi Lemak is a concurrent champion, with chunks of flavorful fried chicken, cabbage with a heated crunch, fantastic fried tofu and egg, and a spicy paste of peanut and tiny salty anchovies that will set you salivating.  Among all this, it's the rice that's the real deal. The coconut plays coy as the fragrant surrounding meats fill up the space. 

Delicious food, but I don't think it'd stand up to Simpang. I loved it all, and it didn't fall far, but I'm dying to try Ipoh as well.  

Hansen's Cakes - Los Angeles

I don't know much about this place, but they have photos of celebrities cutting their cakes. 

Their cupcakes are only $1.50, and impossible to resist in these days of massive inflation. 

They have so many flavors; apple pie is fun, sprinkles are a classic, and the blue velvet is whatever. I'd love for the cake part to not be the color of a swamp. All the cake parts are a little dry, but a better buttercream has never been. It's super sweet, but also so creamy, a great flavor that I'm wholeheartedly for. 

The inside isn't glamorous but it's what's inside the inside that counts. The cupcakes are cheap but they're tasty treats and fun, perfect for a post-Ethiopian dinner delight. 

ACC Chinese Fast Food - Alhambra

Have you ever seen a mom-and-pop more mom-and-pop than ACC? It literally looks like a food stall inside a small strip mall store. Mom takes your order (brush up on your Mandarin), yells it to pop, and goes to the back to help him. 

They whip it all up real quick, and if you're lucky, you'll catch a glimpse of the juices running down your duck as they one back to chop. Two orders of Duck Rice are more than two people need, but their duck game is strong and you won't want to share. The skin is crisp even after 40 minutes in my car, and the meat is tender with roasted fragrance all the way through. It's an inexpensive plate, and you get a nice quarter with a breast or a leg. 

She sold me on a stew, made with roast pork, silky-soft tofu, carrots and broccoli simmering in an orange-brown gravy with the slightest hint of sweet and sour. It seems like it's made from the pork they didn't sell, and this pork lives up to the hype. Even through the stew-sauce, the savor squeezes through.

The stir-fried Pork Kidney is one I had to try, but my mom makes it better. Thinly but too-largely sliced, the viscous brown sauce preserves the texture, though it's a bit over-fried and dry. 

A-choy cooks down considerably, and they had to add some tender veggie hearts to make up the volume, (with my permission).

Mom is sweet in that Chinese-mom way and gifts me some salt water duck wings and feet, to be eaten with my favorite TV show, and I know better than to not obey. A cold dish, not to be reheated, it's the perfect snack if you're not squeamish. 

It's called fast food for a reason; efficient, inexpensive, but really quite effective. I got all this for fifty dollars and it's been food for days. 

The menu is overwhelming so stick to the main meats. Made to be eaten immediately and fresh so don't delay and order your duck today. 

Roadrunner Grab+Go - Joshua Tree, CA

Roadrunner raised a red flag when I saw it was inside the visitor center. Nothing screams tourist trap like this location, and the prices didn't contradict. 

That said, the ingredients are good, and everything else is quite high-end so with shipping to the dessert, the weight loss from your wallet can be a little bit justified. 

Roast Beef with chimichurri is a cool combination, 

but this thick prosciutto with fresh mozzarella, balsamic, and sweet roasted peppers is where it's at. 

There's charcuterie for the road if you prefer gourmet salami and cheese. Not cheap, but it's local, and the ones we grabbed were great. 

Wash down with a lot of artisan kombuchas from the fridge. This root beer is not my favorite, but this brand makes a pear and a few other fruit flavors that are to die for if you're a fan of fermentation.

Want something lighter? The Mezze Platter is the real MVP. Plenty of pita, a scoop of slightly-bland hummus to offset the salty feta and olives. Artichokes are amazing, and there's pickled onions and roasted red peppers, all on a bed of spinach. It's the first good platter in a plastic box I've had. 

Kiddo loved this sugar-cookie cake, and I must say, so did I. Too soft to be a cookie, too solid to be a cake, enough sweetness to use up all your insulin. Irresistible if you like sugar cookies and cake and plenty of other options as well. 

Alright, it could be worse. It's expensive but it's great for grab-and-go, as advertised. We were living on cold cuts this trip, and these were the better ones by far. 

The Dez - Joshua Tree, CA

Family vacays are rare these days, and I can't say this one went well. 

But at least the breakfasts were bearable, thanks to the Sausage Rolls from The Dez. A few microwaved minutes will fluff up the pastry, and the chicken sausage will sizzle as the casing gets an extra snap. 

A Cheese Danish and an Almond Croissant ship from Palm Springs, and they're nice sweets that are not too sweet. 

Coffee and breakfast are what they do best, but leave dinner to someone else. The sandwiches are a misery - that Chickpea Wrap tastes like an unsalted hummus but has the texture of a mashed egg salad, and the lunch-meat sandwich was nothing good. Almost all the wraps and sandwiches have mayo so purchase a picnic with caution if you're saving them for the park. 

Stop by for a morning start but go elsewhere the rest of the day. The people are friendly and the place is cute so stop by for a sausage roll but there's nothing else here you need. 

Ramen Yamadaya UPDATE - Torrance

I forgot how much I love this place. 

The Karaage is right on, and my friend declared it the best he's ever had.

The Tonkotsu Spicy is most popular, a thick broth of savory pork, with varying levels of spice. The broth is rich, but definitely a soup, unlike the semisolid of Umenoya. The flavors are full, but the bowl is a size that's manageable. Ask for fresh garlic and dump it all in. It turns the broth into a flavor-burst. The only thing I don't love is the pork. The meat is tough as a tire.

Taiyaki is steamed and soggy but the red bean filling is as smooth as silk.

I love it here, and I'm sad I've stayed away for so long. It's a pain to get to, but it's worth the venture for a ramen adventure.