Milk Bar UPDATE - Las Vegas, NV

Forget LA parking. I'll just leave my car under the Cosmo and have Milk Bar every night. 

They now sell slices of cake. Fall fast for the fall season Pumpkin Dulce de Leche, hearty layers moist cinnamon pumpkin with layers of dulce and cream. 

The Birthday Cake is funfetti, and the cake, though baked, still tastes like raw batter. It's a classic but it'll always be my fave. 

Tried some cookies this time around. Nothing corny about a classic sweet Corn, the Blueberry & Cream is like a solid cheesecake without the cheese, and the Compost is all sorts of sugar, salt, and savor, crunch of soft, and goo on crunch.

We got half a Milkbar pie to go as well. It's the same thing as the crack pie with a family-friendly name because "family-friendly" is the first thing that comes to mind when I think about Vegas. They make it in ice cream too, and it's the best kind of sugar rush. 

I don't care what you say about social media and hype. I'll never get tired of the desserts at Milk Bar - they're quickly becoming a classic, and no matter how long they've been around, for me, they'll never get old. 

Milk Bar - Las Vegas, NV

Almost ten years ago, my first taste of Milk Bar rocked my world. It threw everyone for a loop, dishing out just desserts, the likes of which the Lower East Side had never seen. 

For me, it was the Crack Pie. Cue clouds opening, streaming sunlight, and epiphany music. 

You don't even feel anything on the first bite, but we all like our sugar with butter and cream. The second bite sneaks up on you, and an insatiable desire to have more sets in somewhere between the second bite and the third. It sounds so simple, but what it does to you is something I can't even try to explain.

The Cake Truffles are another favorite. These aren't so original anymore, but I dare say they started the cake pop revolution. All sugar, crumbly and sweet; They'd probably turn your kids into bullets of energy and keep you clubbing all night.

Nostalgia makes me bold. I've always wanted to try the Cereal Milk Soft Serve, and I decide today will be the day. I should have quit while I was ahead. There is a reason it sounds like a bad idea. Spoiler alert: it is a terrible idea. It tastes like soggy corn flakes soaked in milk except the corn flakes are at least a year old. The cereal flavor is STALESTALESTALE and it is disgusting. In my husband's words, "It tastes like something I (and no one else in the world) shouldn't be eating."

The soft serve went into the garbage where it belongs, but we did get half a crack pie for the road. I still have a soft spot for Milk Bar, but I'd be damn glad to never see their cereal milk again.

Momofuku MilkBar – NYC

I’m going to write about Milk Bar as if I’m a lawyer. That is, I’m going to stretch the truth. So that’s not technically a lie. The honest truth is, there isn’t anything cheap about Milk Bar. The prices are fair enough, especially in NYC, but it’s not quite a restaurant. So thanks to the somewhat-loophole in my cheap eats contract, pretty much everything at Milk Bar is under $10 and rich enough to be a meal so I’m gonna call it fair game.

A mere $5 buys you three cookies at Milk Bar and probably any other bakery, a deal I’ll take any day. The Blueberry and Cream has generous chunks of baby blues, the Cornflake Marshmallow is soft gooiness with a contrasting crunch, and the trademark Compost Cookie is a sweet-salty combination thrown together by a cookie-craving baker who ran out of chocolate chips.

The B’day Truffles were the one thing I reallyreallyreally wanted, but they were also the one thing that disappointed me. They were floury and dry, and though they tasted enough like cake batter, they really just missed the mark. There was no loophole big enough to let these through.

I didn’t know it was legal to actually lace food with crack. But the Crack Pie is clearly packing something powerful. The deceptively simple sweet, melt-in-your-mouth combination of butter and sugar makes it impossible to settle for one slice, and a craving as intense as this pie will hit you anytime, anywhere. Only a real lawyer could find a loophole for eating that much butter and refined sugar, and it would take one heck of an attorney to legally justify the crack, but believe me, that's a defense I'd gladly pay for.