Biltong and Droewers - Gordon's Bay, South Africa

This is when we start to taste the benefits of knowing a local. These benefits are delicious, BTW.

Harry directs us to a local biltong butchery, where we choose a hanging slab of the good stuff with a satisfying strip of fat down the side. The meat itself is juicy. It can be more dry like jerky, but I love how soft and tender the wetter cuts can get. The center glows red and rare, and the seasoning penetrates all the way through to bring out all the aromas of the beef.

Equally soft sticks of droewers makes me understand what Slim Jim was aiming for. Rich with coriander seed spices and pebbled with melty fat, this is no ordinary sausage.

Sooshe Sushi Bar, Gordon's Bay, South Africa - Day 15

This is the day that food falls apart. So far South Africa has provided all sorts of meals and snacks, some more satisfactory than others, some more ordinary than not. That said, I had yet to try something truly terrible, and it's here, at Sooshe, that I finally encountered something I could not and would not eat. 

The sushi glides by on a conveyor belt, shiny options on colored plates, each with a different price point. They offer several options, among them, a flat rate for AYCE (which we did not order). They make it difficult to take advantage of the AYCE, however, as every item on the conveyor belt is drowning in a layer of mayo. The Shrimp Tempura Roll, for example, has both mayo and a cloying sweet chili sauce. 

A Salmon Wrap has dollops of mayo like icing on a cupcake.

And it takes at least three rotations of the belt before I find an acceptable Salmon Avocado Roll. 

The Salmon Avocado Hand Roll is also nice and fresh. 

They have a fancy Salmon Sashimi as well, but I'm not a fan of the sweet teriyaki-esque sauce they serve it in. 

Unfortunately, it all falls apart from here. I'm craving some carbs so I order a small portion of Beef Lo Mein. It's greasy, which is expected, but the oil tastes like it could use a change. 

The real moment of hatred boils down to this: I ordered a Tuna Hand Roll to finish my meal and was told that they were out of tuna. No problem, I opt to shrimp and avocado instead. They brought out the shrimp and avocado, but they also brought this tuna roll, insisting that the chef found the last piece of tuna and that I had to eat it. Bad enough they were trying to bully me into paying extra for something I didn't order, but what I found more offensive was the quality of the tuna. I expect my tuna to be red, not shades of gray. My camera also failed to captured the dark green sheen on the tuna, which was clearly at least a month old. I paid for it to avoid causing a scene, but eating it would have landed me in the hospital. 

Sooshe didn't seem so terrible to start. The salmon is quite fresh, and the sushi is not exactly authentic, but most of it was just fine. Sorry Sooshe, you would have gotten a more positive review had you not tried to poison me...

The Thirsty Oyster, Gordon's Bay, South Africa - Day 13

Leaving Chamonix is bittersweet like I've never known. But after almost a week in food-and-booze tourist-heaven, I'm eager for a change of pace.

Gordon's Bay is a short sidetrack on our way back to Cape Town. A gorgeous harbor town along the Western Cape, Gordon's Bay promises a different kind of adventure, and most importantly, Gordon's Bay has Justin's high school buddy Harry.

Harry greets us at his spacious home, and he has us sitting seaside at the Thirsty Oyster, lunching with the locals while he and Justin reminisce about their crazy adolescent times. Apparently I was reallyREALLY boring as a teen - my affinity for street racers will never in any way equal their antics, but at least I have his girlfriend Kerryn for compan - she is the sweetest and possibly the easiest-to-get-along-with person I've ever met. Plus she works at the Thirsty Oyster so we get all sorts of great service and smiles.

The second floor patio of the Thirsty Oyster overlooks a beautiful pier, docked with dinghies and sailboats as guys grill fresh seafood outside. A bottle of Buitenverwachtnig Buiten Blanc washes down smooth and light-white, and soon I'm the most relaxed I've been all year.

Starting with West Coast Oysters. Freshly shucked, more butter than brine, a smooth and approachable finish. Perfect with a squeeze of lemon, and add a drop of hot sauce if you're brave.

This will be the 40th time we have underestimated South African portion size, and this Pan o' Prawns makes American portions look measly. There are so many juicy, jumbo, butterflied shrimp in this stainless steel skillet, and every single one of those shrimp tastes as succulent and well-spiced as the one before it. Garlic butter and lemon butter are popular toppings, and peri-peri sauce is a zesty mix.  

I got the flame-grilled Tuna before I knew how much shrimp we were getting. The tuna is seasonal, and 'tis the season for this fresh, meaty brick of red.

Lunching with the locals is probably one of the coolest things we've done in South Africa. There is an irresistible charm to truly relaxing by the bay with friends both old and new, and our visits to Gordon's Bay are among my favorite excursions of this trip.

Still to come: dinner at the long-anticipated Test Kitchen. That review will have to wait. In order to end this trip on a high note, I'll save the other best for last.