The Werf Restaurant - Franschhoek, South Africa

Determined to hit up yet another vineyard, we cruise into Boschendal on our way back to Franschhoek, seeking lunch and another flight of wine.

The Werf has a gorgeous view from the windows, and even the dreary rain doesn't make the gardens of Boschendal look any less like a fairy tale.

The menu is promising, a plethora of small plates, promising creativity and with descriptions that sound like tempting tapas.

A complementary starting gift from the chef is an earthy mix of refreshing veggies in endive and sour cream. The sun-dried tomatoes still hold plenty of tangy juice, rounded out by ground seeds and nuts, and the whole combination reminds me of fresh earth after the rain.

The Ribeye is cooked quite nicely, a pretty medium rare. Dauphine is a fancy term for fried potato rounds, a thinner, Frenchier version of hash browns. These are fried golden brown and crunch with a satisfying chomp. Clouds of horseradish break up the heavy meat n' potatoes, and this may be the only truly edible dish we order.

We intend for the Pumpkin Seed Dumplings to break up all the meat, but that doesn't happen. The wrapper is as thick as a Triscuit, and each bite is flour mush, like it hasn't been quite cooked all the way through. The filling is a dry, diced mixture of seeds with no filler to either hold it together or to at least disguise the resemblance to birdseed. They drown these birdfeeders in half a centimeter of oil (that yellow liquid is just olive oil, NOT soup), and despite the perfectly tender texture of the oyster mushrooms, the salt forces you to wash each bite down with an entire glass of water. 

The theme here is OVERKILL. Even the Roasted Carrots, which are supposed to be a vegetable on the side, possess a cloying quality so intense you're done after a single carrot. They are sticky, like a saturated dishcloth with a quantity of cumin that proves to be suffocating. There is no detectable citrus, and the honeycomb compounds the problem. 

The "new season" Figs are more like dry season figs. They are flavorless and leathery, and the pecan pralines are the only source of sweetness. The fig leaf ice cream, however, is interesting and fun, just like their namesake foliage.

The effort is clear, the concepts are fair, but the execution is utterly unfortunate. All the ideas work on paper, but they definitely don't work together. Boschendal is beautiful, and they have some promising wines, but boy, does The Werf need a little work.