Longo Seafood Restaurant - Rosemead

Decent dim sum that I don't entirely dig. 

They get a bit of a pass because of the long travel time, but I will say the dumplings did quite well. Steamed Mini Pork Buns have that standard sweet filling, 

and the Shrimp Dumplings are just fine. 

The Roast Duck is dripping grease, the Steamed Pork Intestine has a bit too much texture,

and the Boiled Pig Liver can get a bit dry. 

They do all go well with the pork and salted egg-filled Sticky Rice Wrap. 

Nothing I would travel for, but I know this isn't the best the San Gabriel Valley has to offer so next time I'd order from somewhere else. 

Ji Rong Peking Duck - Rosemead

Order your Peking Duck in advance. 

It's not cheap, but you won't regret a single bite of that skin. It's crispy, airy, melt-in-your-mouth-on impact, and it's not just on the breast, it's an entire duck of SKIN! The meat is tender, and the fatty oils keep it not so dense. Wrap it up with pancakes and add pinches of onion, hoisin, and cukes. They have the duck bone soup with an optional extra charge as well if you're into it. 

The menu is as comprehensive as it is versatile. Plenty of apps, and we start with duck parts as a preview. The Spicy Duck Heart & Gizzard is a cold dish with a kick. Lots of texture, both chewy and tender. I'd probably try something else next time, but I do love me some offal. 

Eat your vegetables. Sauteed Pea Shoots are garlicky and green, refreshing between bites of juice-dripping duck. 

The Shredded Potato with Jalapeno is another lighter dish, and the pepper sting makes you eat a little more. 

I leave satisfied and I depart disappointed. This menu is a collection of literally every delicious thing I've eaten in China, and the two of us just couldn't handle more. Go with a group so you can try a few more mains. Lamb skewers and a house special pancake are next on my list, but only if I can get past the lobster and hot and spicy fish. 

Sea Harbour - Rosemead

I've never craved anything like I crave good dim sum. It aches and irks like that itch in the middle of your back between the shoulder blades that you just can't reach. Once in a while, it just needs to be scratched.

You can't scratch that itch without help, just like you can't clean this steaming plate of soft soy tendon and chewy honeycomb tripe alone. Phone at least one friend to share with.

I love dim sum, but I'm not always willing to work for it. All the best stuff is the San Gabriel Valley, and Rosemead's Sea Harbour is quite the drive up the 405...and the 10...and the 710...and just about every other freaking freeway in SoCal. On the days I can't make the drive, I end up going to Gardena, whih is as satisfying as the Tofu Skin Rolls.The skin is just the right cellophane-brown-sauce texture but the veggie filling is mediocre and leaves a lot to be desired.

The Soup Dumplings are a little bit better. They have a sweet, gingery filling, the yin to the yang of the vinegar dipping sauce. There's plenty of juice, but they're far from Sea Harbour's best.

The Shrimp Hargow, on the other hand are absolutely, hands-down the best freaking shrimp dumplings I've had in my entire life! The dumplings are plump, the crystal wrapper stays cohesively chewy, and there is not a single grain of sogginess along the bottom. The shrimp filling miraculously holds its flavor despite the steaming, and WOW, just WOW.

The Pork Shumai are savory with a bit of sass They have some sort of strongly salty, truffle-y thing on top, a small touch with a bold statement.

When I saw that there were no carts Sea Harbour, I started to panic (Ai-yaaaaaa!). I wasn't sure if dim sum was really dim sum if you didn't have to catch as it rolls by. Well the Shrimp Rice Noodles were plenty authentic and once again, the best I've had. The plump, shrimp-stuffed noodles have just the right texture, and the soy sauce on top is just the right touch of salty versus sweet. 

The Pork Buns were so fluffy, airily puffed around a sweet chopped char-siu. These melt so quickly on the tongue, they're probably soft enough to be swallowed whole.

Sea Harbour has convinced me that the best dim sum doesn't need a cart, but every dim sum experience MUST have a waitress wielding scissors. After all, sharing a staple red bean-filled Sesame Ball simply can't be done without a sharp snip down the middle.

Dammit Sea Harbour, you ruined dim sum for the rest of my life! I will never again go for the South Bay settle, and where will I ever find shrimp hargow or Milk Egg Custard Tarts like yours? Egg creme without the brulee, softer and sweeter than any custard, in a flaky crust with a million little layers.

You could go still go somewhere else for your dim sum, but will you ever go anywhere else this good?

Jtyh Restaurant - Rosemead

In case you couldn't tell by my previous review, I don't have the best luck with men. Clearly I cling to the crazies, but there are other problems beyond my control as well. For example, I tend to go for manly men. By manly, I mean a wood-chopping, beer-guzzling guys with shirt-ripping muscles acquired from something other than a personal trainer who looks like Ben Stiller in Dodgeball.

I don't know how I'll find this man, but when I do I'll know. And when we dig into a dish of hand-rolled cold Noodles in House Sauce at an unpretentious cafe-style setup like Jtyh, he'll really dig in. No dainty dabbing of the lips here, just stuff so many noodles into your mouth you have to bite them and let the rest fall onto your plate. Bonus points if you drop some into the lap you forgot to put a napkin in because you're a bad Asian like me and never mastered chopsticks. And if I hear you slurp this ropy round with its unpretentious soy-based sauce, I'll kiss you by the end of the night no matter how many crudely-chopped cubes of garlic you just ate.

A dude-bro once told me that no one can be a bigger man than me. Unfortunately, it's hard NOT to be the bigger man in a city where the guys manicure their lawns AND their toes. Fortunately, Jtyh dishes out a good dose of MAN with the dao xiao mian. 

A guy who shaves noodles into a boiling broth with a huge knife? I will slurp him up even faster than the Beef Stewed Noodle Soup. This hearty, rugged broth is meaty minus the greasy and the stewed chunks of marbeled beef break apart in your mouth.

I'm not really a fan of non-facial hair...or facial hair, for that matter, but the SoCal pretty-boys could use a little more on the chest. It adds a little character with some texture and depth, the same way a little more thin-sliced lamb would have enhanced the Lamb Fried Noodles. But make no mistake, these stir-fried noodles have shaved sides curl like waves of sweaty hair after a day of lifting at the gym, and that glimpse of gamy flavor will fill you up like the Chinese version of a Hungry Man dinner.

It's hard to find a manly-man in a city where the guys are paying up to have their cuticles clipped and their chest hair removed, but Jtyh kind of restores my faith. Unsurprisingly, there are only five knife-shaved noodle houses in the LA area, where manly-men are about as common as unicorns. I guess you can wish me happy hunting because the minute I find one, I'm never letting him go.