When I was ten years old, my summer camp arranged for us to take a
boat ride aboard the Liberty Belle. Sweet name. Worst name EVER for a boat. What
idiot found it fitting to name a floating vessel after a historical treasure
made famous by a gigantic crack? He might as well have named it Titanic.
The good news: Liberty Belle was a misnomer. There were no cracks in the boat. The bad news: Seafood Unlimited, which is about a mile from the Liberty Bell was also a misnomer. There is nothing unlimited about edible seafood and very well there shouldn’t be. Still I tried it for the promise of a happy hour menu (which turned out to be identical to their regular menu), and despite the 5-dollar margaritas, this place didn’t exactly float my boat.
The only unlimited thing at Seafood Unlimited was the shellfish.At $1 each, I could have eaten any amount of Oysters…without knowing what I was eating. Oysters are characterized by a briny, salt-water flavor, but these were totally tasteless. A friend in the restaurant business tells me that this happens when oysters are placed in ice but the ice melts and rinses out all the flavor. Translation: this seafood restaurant that doesn’t know how to store oysters. On the plus side, the flavorful Clams were also $1 and I could have easily enjoyed any number of those.
We moved on to the Crab Stuffed Calamari, for which I have only unlimited praise. The calamari was tender but chewy, they didn’t skimp on the succulent crab, and the basil oil added a silky luxury.
We moved on to Crab Spring Rolls, which were crammed with moist crab, but sadly the deep frying sucked out all the flavor. The oil worked for the calamari, but the spring rolls could have done without.
A seafood dinner may not be unlimited, but a seafood dinner feels utterly incomplete without a steaming bowl of Mussels. We picked the Thai green curry because it just sounded so awesome, but that combination turned out a little more like Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes: sometimes putting two good things together doesn’t necessarily make either one better. In this case, neither did putting two mediocre things together.
I know I deserve a scolding for expecting decent seafood in a city known for the lack thereof. There are definite limits to the quality of seafood in Philly in general so I guess any reproach is warranted. But from every less-than-stellar experience comes an important life lesson, and if Seafood Unlimited has taught me anything it’s that the seafood diet is a bad idea. Looks like I’ll have to a new motto next time I go to Philly because “see food and eat it” sure as heck didn’t work this time.
No comments:
Post a Comment