Colicchio’s Genius at Craftbar UPDATE - NYC

Some people are not meant to swim. Greetings from a human rock. No, smart ass, not pumice. Maybe a skipping stone on a good day. Let’s put it this way: my scuba instructor had to physically tow me to the descent rope because I couldn’t swim there. With a flotation vest. And flippers.

Some restaurants were not meant to serve brunch. Craftbar was meant to serve dinner. It’s been a year and I still can’t forget the sweetbreads, but brunch at Craftbar was like so many things in this city of trends and chance: not meant to be.

I knew I was taking a huge risk by trying the brunch, but the Pecorino Risotto Balls made me feel better about my decision. They weren’t brass ones, but the cheesy risotto with a kick of tomato made for big gooey bites of tasty-but-expected goodness. No surprises and no spontaneity, but definitely no complaints.

Finally, a real kale salad. After the hot mess spinach dip at Fada, I wasn’t sure what I was getting myself into with the Winter Squash and Kale Salad, but the kale is crunchy and the squash is sweet. This one gets a hearty red heart, like an oversized t-shirt declaring your love for NYC.   

Some things just don’t belong at a New York brunch, and nothing makes that point clearer than the Potted Corned Beef Hash. The tender chunks of beef are overpowered by the underlying sour-kraut, and what was once a thick beef and potato hash gets diluted as the kraut-water seeps in. The mix of egg yolk and fermented cabbage is a disaster of epic proportions, a no-go that stops your tastebuds in their tracks like cars in the Lincoln Tunnel during rush hour.

The hash may be a little off, but if you need proof that these chefs can cook anything, look no farther than the Shrimp & Grits. The grits are buttery, the shrimp are perfect, and the chorizo adds a little extra. Would have liked spicier shishitos, but that’s not really something they can help.

Writing this review made me feel like the sitcom parent who spanks their child while says “This hurts me more than it hurts you.” I love Craftbar and it pains me to dock them in an update, but some places should stick to what they’re good at. Sadly, the same evolution that has us walking upright in heels has brought us into a society where Manhattannites will consume nothing but poached eggs before 4 PM on Saturday and Sunday, so I sympathize with Craftbar’s struggle for survival. The thing is, we’ve all tried to put things where they don’t belong, and at Craftbar, that would be brunch.