MTN - Venice, Los Angeles

I'm back from a long vacation, and THIS is what I come home to. Ugh, no thanks. 

I had high hopes for MTN, and after the Grilled Saba, I really thought I would enjoy this place. The saba is fleshy and raw in a rich, almost-creamy way. The yuzu ponzu adds a snappy citrus, and the fish holds none of mackerel's fishy sting. I hate mackerel, but I loveloveLOVE this.

The Wagyu Beef Heart Skewer has an exceptional savor and a perfect tenderness that's hard to achieve. Meat of this quality can stand alone, but a little salt wouldn't hurt. 

The skewers and small plates are tiny and they cost a pretty penny. The prices are vexing, but hey, it's Venice...or so I thought. This is an awesome, downy-soft Charred Japanese Sweet Potato in miso butter. The sweet potato is great, and it doesn't even need the butter, but seriously, $10 for a single sweet potato the size of half an avocado?!? Per ounce, that's practically a low-end truffle.

The Black Sesame Tantanmen is just MUD. A bowl of expensive, salty mud. I think the broth would have been rich, and people with palates I respect have raved about it, but this brackish batch contains so much salt that it tastes like a puddle.

We were sharing the tantanmen between three people and not a single one of us could muster more than couple of bites. Still, we weren't about to let it go to waste...except they "don't allow" take home boxes for noodles and literally took the food that I paid for out of my hands. Their excuse was that the noodles get soggy when they sit in broth for too long, but I don't appreciate being told I can't take my property home. They could have at least packed the noodles and broth separately.

The Pork Bone Ramen is pretty good overall. The broth barely scratches the surface, but it has a smash of citrus that adds an interesting angle. The chashu is perfect, and I love the soft sear on it, but it tastes a little weirdly high-end for ramen. Not bad at all, but I can get the same level if not better for half the price almost anywhere but here.

My experience can be summarized in 3 simple words: Venice gone WRONG. So very, VERY wrong. The food isn't good enough for the prices they charge, and you could spend an entire Benjamin and starve. Not to mention the absolutely unreasonable 20% service charge that comes automatically included. I loathe tipping and am a huge fan of standardizing service charges, but 20% is quite presumptuous. 20% is what you tip for exceptional service, and for MTN to assume that the slow, condescending service we got deserves 20% is an insult. If you want my 20%, then at least let me take my food home. But don't worry, MTN, this will not be an issue because I will NEVER eat here again.