How to eat your way through Peru: A journey to Machu Picchu in the belly of a glutton

It used to be that a journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step. Nowadays a journey of a thousand miles starts at the airport. After removing all non-essential clothing and posing for a scanner that literally undresses you with its eyes, you board with anticipation for the journey that lies ahead. 

For me, the journey of a thousand miles also starts with a knife and fork, and more often than not, tasting a country is just as satisfying as seeing it. The monuments are majestic, and there’s no doubt you’ll feast your eyes. You’ll revel in the sound of a beautiful language, you’ll laugh and cringe at culture, and your skin will bask in the sun and soak in the rain. You’ll also inhale deeply over a plate of food you’ve never conceived of, taking in the smell of seasoning you’ll never see again.

I used to think that the first meal mattered the most because it could set the tone for your trip. You can start a trip on a savory note, a sweet note, a sour note, a sweet n’ sour note, but heaven forbid you start it on the wrong note.

Now that I’ve toiled in the heat of Central Lima, I no long think that is true. The first meal is not what matters the most. What matters most is that you can navigate a foreign country well enough to actually find a place to eat. 

That said, we were starving by the time we ducked into a random restaurant several blocks off the Plaza de Armas. The street signs made no sense, there was just no way we were going to find Tanta before we killed each other from hanger.  

I don’t even remember the name of the restaurant, but people stared at me when I walked in. Surrounded by Spanish, with not a single gringo to be seen, this little Lima offshoot so obscure I can't remember its name.

The two-course menu was a good deal for lunch, but I had to keep telling myself that as I gagged on the half-egg over a mayo-heavy Potato Salad with "Rosa sauce", which was basically more mayo with a pinkish tint.

The main dishes were much better, and the Arroz con Pollo, with juicy stew chicken and moist seasoned rice put a rapid end to any regrets and a rapid start to an epic adventure.

The Lechon was a slab of fatty pork with white rice and a wheel of potato, which ended up being the perfect preview to Peru. The potato was my favorite part of that dish, and I had no idea just how much potatoes would take over my life for the rest of the trip…