NYC Bestie Trip - Day 1 - Xi’an Famous Foods - New York, NY

A perfectly punctual flight is followed by two rather tense taxi rides. The careless finger of our cabbie hits google maps with no one the wiser and lands us in the middle of Queens. There's nothing to do but to pay for another ride, after which we arrive.

We are famished despite the in-flight snacks, and we venture out to Xi'an Famous Foods. One of few decent options in the area, this affordable food stall-style eatery entertains the taste buds with its fast-casual style of service and simply delicious food. 

A haw berry hibiscus tea is just what post-flight dry-mouth needs, cold and refreshing with a flavor that is sandy and tart. Sour contrasts the spicy food, and the sweeter notes are soothing.

They make a proper Liang Pi here, thick, almost-gelatinous chilled noodles with cukes for extra cool and porous seitan cubes for contrasting texture. A vinegar-forward sauce cuts through the humidity of the city that hangs upon your skin.

The Stewed Pork Burger is incredibly juicy and soft, with belly cuts stewed long and slow in soy sauce and (I suspect) five spice seeping soup between the bread. The mo bun is thin but dense, and the seared sides keep it crispy. 

Spicy Cumin Lamb Hand-Ripped Noodles make mouthfuls of utter bliss. Wide as a gentleman’s belt and just as thick, these doughy ribbons spiral around slices of savory lamb. If you only try one thing, this should be the one. 

If you were to say our food looks a little bit bland, I would say you're right. We select mild spice on every option despite the recommendation for more, out of fear that our pre-theater, post-flight, 40 year-old stomachs will make us suffer during the show. Still, there is flavor without the reflux, and if the blander version is this good, I must return to try the flavors full force.

Chong Qing Xiao Mian - San Francisco, CA

The food is hot and the portions are huge. Share the pain if you wish to survive but if you do not, take comfort for death is delicious.

The apps are alright but the noodles are the main event. Nibble on some Szechuan Style Mouth Watering Chicken if you so choose, but know that there's not much meat. You're mostly gnawing tidbits off chicken bones which can be a lot of work if you're trying to keep your fingers clean. The leftovers are a lot better when you let them soak all night.

The Bean Jello in Red Chili Sauce, a staple of the south. Again, they need some serious marination. The sauce just slides right off, and there's no discernible flavor in the jelly cubes.

If you're wanting something hearty and some grease to offset the spice, the House Special Crispy Pig Feet have a lot of grease, and they're a bit over-fried so they end to be tough and dry. 

Their Chongqing Hot Numbing Spicy Noodle is their namesake signaturem, a flaming bowl of al dente noodles and cabbage. 

The Spicy Beef Noodle Soup is a sweeter, more savory broth, with tender chunks of tendinous beef. 

Read the fine print and ask for your food to be made less spicy if you're new to southern China spice or if you haven't spent the past decade snacking on Carolina reaper. That said, we didn't heed their warnings but the suffering was pretty sweet. The noodles have flavorful broths, made to delight, not just to damage...No pain no gain. I'm glad I had the experience, but I would probably pick a place with better apps. 

China - Song of the South

Southern China is no stranger to fame. The accomplishments of the Song dynasty are pretty unforgettable, the terra cotta army is a lasting impression ten thousand times over, and Shanghai could almost be the center of the universe. But the real southern empire lives in the kitchen. Whether it's the homemade hybrid of northern dumplings and wonton soup (Southern Dumplings), the numbing spiciness of mala, or an iconic shot of sweetness that accompanies this Lotus Root, the south houses many a master chef. This particular bowl holds the best dumpling soup I've ever had.

Southern dumpling soup may be new to me, but Shanghai dumplings have always been a fave. I knew there were soup dumplings and soup shumai, but I had no idea there were Soup Bao as well. The crispy, fried skin, which is similar to a steamed bun and as thick as a pork bao, encases a full spoon of soup.

There are the classic soup dumplings, aka mini juicy dumplings, that almost everyone has tried, and then there is the real Pork and Crab Soup Dumpling. Seafood soup simmers inside a dumpling the size of a large man's fist. There's no way to hold this monstrosity over a spoon so the soup needs to be sucked out with a straw before you can slurp down the rest.

Geographically, my family stronghold lies in the north. I love my northern noshing, my speech is pure Liaoning mandarin, and my papercuts bleed bright red DongBei blood. But when it comes to dumplings and soup, I'm all for the southern Song.