Instagram threw up. And some social media geniuses gathered up the unfiltered vomit, threw it into a 4-room museum, and charged people an exorbitant amount for an exclusive opportunity to see it all.
It's absolute genius! Someone made a few rooms look pretty for selfies, pretended it was a museum, threw a few little treats at people, and charged nearly 30 dollars for them to take a bunch of selfies!
Start with a piece of Dove chocolate, a blood-sugar booster, an inconsequential treat to make you feel like you're getting your money's worth. (Spoiler alert: you're not).
The phone room is next. Pick up a pink receiver, pose in a listening pose and pretend you hear something other than silence. What you really hear is a foreshadowing of what lies ahead; nothing.
Vomit seems to be a running theme. You get a small cup of unicorn vomit ice cream that they call Fairy Pixiedust, colored sugar with oreo crumbs, to eat while you wait in line for a photo in front of a fake painted wall, an ice-creamed Hollywood sign. No thanks.
In the next room, feast your eyes on hanging bananas you can't touch and banana swings that people line up to selfie. Sit and pretend to swing. But don't swing too fast or your photos will be blurry!
The sterile green mint room showcases several types of mint plants growing out of coffee grounds. You're not allowed to taste them so you just have to take the word of the person holding a fake watering can.
There's half a Mint Chocolate Chip Mochi for your efforts. Not a whole one because they can't afford that at 30 dollars a ticket.
There's a selfie screen in a narrower corridor and a wall of random ice cream paraphernalia. I dig the ice cream shoes, but nothing else is worth a scoop.
Gummy bear room of large plastic gummy bears. See husband for relative size of said bears.
Handful of gummy bears. Eat them and learn fun facts. Apparently they were first made in Germany, and they didn't make it here until the 80's. Cute display...if you're in Toys R' Us.
The Abel Bentin wall of smushed ice cream cones is the only real art in here.
Feast on some Chocolate Cherry Bombs and Sixlets while you feast your eyes.
A shallow pool of plastic sprinkles comes next. You get a minute or two to sit and selfie before you have to check your clothes for unsanitary sprinkles and leave. Cute idea, but it's only about a foot deep, and those plastic sprinkles are sprinkling DTLA like a tiny, colorful plague.
Next room is for purchasing overpriced souvenirs as you slurp from a cone of watery vanilla soft serve infused with pink food coloring. McDonald's makes better soft serve.
A washed-out ice cream with fake food coloring as a poor effort to make it exciting. Seems like a fitting end to a fake museum.
The Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City costs $25 suggested admission. The Smithsonian is free. That this parody of museums, this perversion of what a museum is all about dares to charge $29 is ludicrous, and I can't even begin to process the offensive lie that they built.
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