Grasping at Grotto – Boston

“I love you” are the three sweetest words in the English language. These words are uttered with wild abandon, in a moment of ecstasy. They are uttered after many ponderous sleepless nights, and they are words that drive the course of history and always change your life.  When I first walked into Grotto, I instantly loved the almost-medieval décor of a garden-level room illuminated by petite chandeliers and a red velvet drape like a castle-wall tapestry. It wasn’t hard to instantly fall for a quaint ambiance with a classic touch.

But sometimes love at first sight is an oversight. Sometimes love just isn’t enough. “I love you” may be the three sweetest words in any language, but it only takes one more to make the four worst words. In any language, the four worst words are “I love you BUT”.  I loved Grotto BUT…

I loved the Fonduta for the filling chunks of tenderloin, and the Fontina left me with a fondness, BUT it’s really just two high-end ingredients, lacking in real vision, inspiration, and skill. When you look closer, it shines like a pair of large but poorly-cut diamonds.

I loved the Piccata, fresh mussels finished by a kick of white wine. No buts, really, the mussels were well-made, and I found that alcoholic end of the sauce refreshing. Not sure why I was so charmed by it – many others may disagree, but much like a lovers’ quarrel, no one is actually right.

I loved the Antra duck leg coated with a crispy skin, and finding fault with a well-cooked leg of duck in a tangy cherry glaze is about as easy as fighting during the honeymoon phase of a brand-new relationship. BUT the stuffed duck breast was awful. The breast was about as dry and flavorless as unseasoned jerky, and the apple stuffing contained a punch-in-the-jaw of black pepper.

I loved the Zucca, with its radioactive-orange-filled sweet potato ravioli and a sprinkling of savory saffron BUT the parmesan topper was so over-the-top, it buried the other flavors underneath. Love is sweet, but too much is suffocating, and all it takes is a little less clingy parmesan to set the saffron free.

When it came to the dessert, it seemed that I loved Grotto after all. I loved the texture-perfect Panna Cotta with zesty bites of lemon and tangy tongues of raspberry. There were no buts to this – this one ends like the fairy tales…before the dreadful Disney sequels.

I’m no stranger to the sweet words “I love you”, but I find I utter the scathing four far more often. I find that many things and many people we love, including myself, often let us down, leaving us wanting for more. At first you fall for the endless promise, but at the end of the day, there is an obvious BUT, a rose with one painful thorn, a restaurant that falls half a star short of four.

Advocating for Avana Sushi - Boston

Someone should take a stand. Patient advocates speak for the sick and injured, lobbyists champion their organizations, and politicians represent…themselves? I advocate for Avana. I stand for this little random-Chinatown-in-store-food-court sushi stand. I wove through the strange hallways and braved the lack of tables and Styrofoam plates to uncover this hidden gem. And what a gold mine it has turned out to be.

The Rainbow Roll is one of my faves and was the only thing on the rolls list with raw fish until recently. If they like you, they'll even sprinkle some tobiko and spicy mayo on top. They like me a lot.

The Volcano Roll is just too much, but if you're craving the gooey baked crabstick topper, which I am...always...share with a friend. Choose a lighter option like the rainbow roll if you have no friends.

The Caterpillar and Dragon Rolls are pretty interchangeable in my book. I prefer the dragon - more is more when it comes to eel. I tried the Eel with Coconut roll once too. The coconut lends an interesting sweetness to the roll. Glad I tried it, wouldn't try it again. Something about it doesn't quite jive.

If you're up for plainer fare, opt for the straight-up Spicy Salmon, Spicy Tuna, Spicy White Tuna, Salmon Avocado +/- mango, etc. Even the plain rolls are twice the size of any roll you'd get elsewhere AND they feature eight whopping pieces rather than the standard six. Size matters at Avana…and so does number of pieces…

I don’t even know what’s in the Spicy Seafood Roll but it’s one of my faves, and that’s all I need to know. I’m sure the chopped up octopus bits help…

Props to Avana for one of the better breadths of vegetarian rolls. Armed with an arsenal of mango, avocado, cucumber, oshinko, cream cheese, and tofu/inari headliners, the permutations are endless.

So in the end, it is I who advocate for this ultra-chill, no-frills sushi bar. I favor the somewhat limited fish menu as today’s chefs joust for bigger, more exotic fish. And when it comes down to the melee for who can make the biggest, richest, fresh roll for less, Avana wins as cleanly as the knife slices the sushi, with no need to hide behind the cult following it has gained.

Savory Food Truck – Boston

Savory Food Truck makes savory food on one day every year…Opposite day. Make sure you go on opposite day only – it’s the only day I can honestly call the food good.

                                                                                                                       

The food is actually more authentic than I expected. It’s just made poorly. My Fried Pork Chop was a mealy, soggy mess, and the underlying cabbage was a slimy nightmare.

I’ve also had the Teriyaki Chicken, which was a few harmless skewers short of moist. I also tried some sort of daily special Spareribs, which was reasonably edible. All in all, Savory is not the worst food I’ve ever had, but I assure you, the name is a lie.

The Taco Truck – Boston

There was a lot of hype surrounding The Taco Truck. So I had to go. The hype was what hype usually is – hyped up.

I had palpitations waiting for the Aguacate Tostada Tacos, and I nearly had a heart attack trying to eat them. The black beans were little gallstones drowning in what reminded me of a salty murky biliary sludge. I had to choke it down, despite the stingy solitary slice of fried avocado. I wouldn’t touch that taco again even if the avocado had twins.

The Carnitas Michoacan Tacos were decent, and the guacamole topper is worth paying extra. But it was forgettable at best. Nothing wrong, nothing right. I can barely recall the taco, and I’d just as soon forget the truck.

Pleasing Park Restaurant and Bar - Cambridge

From the moment I saw that parking was validated (on weekdays only) for the garage directly above the restaurant, I knew that it was going to be a good night to Park. Though I should probably pronounce it Pahk if I'm extolling the awesomeness of a restaurant in Hah-vahd Square.

Park houses the ultimate casual, unpretentious, tavern-esque ambiance with food far better than the no-frills unfinished wooden tables and booths would suggest. It's the ideal place to grab a beer and a couple appetizers to snack on or to go out for a fun dinner date. My night started on a lovely note with the goat cheese dip – no boring bread served here!

The Roasted Beets in red and yellow are sweet and juicy with creamy goat cheese and a tangy citrus dressing. This cool-as-a-cucumber salad is the sweet summer Blue Moon with a slice of orange. That first cold sip of a Belgian beer brightens a summer day and whets the appetite when Boston's stifling heat and humidity overwhelm it.

The Crispy Duck Leg with a sharp blackberry glaze is a Guinness – meant to whet the appetite but becomes a meal. The bed of lentils stick to your belly with all the solid density of a frothy stout, but the dark-meat duck remains light and juicy, smooth as a Tsingtao with all the full-bodied flavor of the Guinness.

  

The Summer Tomato Risotto is the ultimate successful adaptation of a warm winter dish into something light and summery. It tasted nothing like bitter parmesan, and the cool, fresh mozzarella with tangy tomato make it as light as an ice-cold Allagash White.

I didn’t know that belly was a cut of lamb until I ordered the Grilled Lamb Belly. It’s a lot like pork belly with a thin, crispy skin and a thick layer of fat, but the strong flavor of lamb prevails to add a gamey quality. The fat also mollifies the lamb in turn, achieving the perfect balance of pure alcohol vs hops, as harmonious as the Delirium Tremens we drank.

The Peach and Plum Pie was filled with a chewy, non-goopy fruit, just the way I like it, but at best, it’s the ordinary Coors Light you pop open at a friend's summer barbecue – nothing special. The crust was a bit too hard, probably baked too long. I appreciated the lack of added sugar, but the fruit didn’t have much flavor either.

The rich, dense Triple Chocolate Terrine is Young's Double Chocolate Stout all the way. A stout so thick it might as well be served on a plate, so rich you slosh it around in your mouth to break it up before swallowing. Like the stout, the terrine is the perfect eat-it-slow texture, a dense, not-too-sweet chocolate loaf, a nightmare of indulgence for the Puritans that once ruled in Mass.

Speaking of Puritans, Park is as Bostonian as Sam Adams and as laid back as Harpoon. It is the ultimate Cambridge restaurant. This dimly-lit den of dining radiates warmth, and the little hearth in the middle adds to the pre-revolution spirit of the casual yet unified American tavern. The wooden tables are unpretentious, and the general attitude is one of chattery contentment. It is almost puritanical in its simplicity…except you’re allowed to drink…and wear colors other than black…and be happy… Basically, Park had me at the beer. Everything else was just icing on the cake. Park is the right mix of all that is good, and it is my cup of tea, my flagon of ale, and my stein of beer.