Cafe Portofino - Lihue, HI

This is not my kind of place. Expensive, trying to be over the top and failing, a quality of food that doesn’t match the level of luxury they’re trying to project.

There is a live harpist on their patio, and their menu features an overwhelming assortment of fancy ingredients commonly associated with fine dining. The menu reads like a free association exercise that someone did on a whim, and they can make all the dishes, but each is missing a level of proficiency that comes with concentrating on a select number of things you do well. 

The Escargot Maison, for example, has decent escargot, but they are so doused in garlic that their finish is unappealingly bitter. And like the restaurant, they are a bit overdone so the finish errs on the side of mush. 

Crab Bisque = bowl of cream. Full of filaments of crab, not bad, but the final product tastes canned, like one you pop open from the grocery store and reheat on the stove.

The Scampi Flambe Trastevere Style. It’s made the real Italian way, they say, but I'm pretty sure the Italians preparation is a fail-safe, not a fail-saute. Butter, garlic, wine, a touch of tomato and a supposed brandy flambé...on shrimp that taste like they were frozen and later thawed. Not spoiled but they taste like the prepackaged cocktail shrimp rings at the grocery store, and the few flavors in the sauce are inconsequential.

Osso Buco alla Portofino. Tender veal shank in a tomato-carrot concoction. Al dente fettuccine on the side. Not bad overall, but I’ve had much better, especially at this price point.

Panna Cotta, a dessert I’ll always order...not anymore. The blueberry compote on top is nice, but the panna cotta is rather heavy on the gelatin. 

Not to harp on it too much, but they promise a lot and deliver very little. The range of their menu is impressive, but they're better off focusing on a few dishes from each category and improving on each one rather than offering a potpourri of mediocrity. I wish I could give this restaurant a second chance, but I would never risk that kind of money again.