Foods of the Islands – St. Thomas, St. John, Jost Van Dyke

After some slightly cynical reviews coupled with a lot of culinary skepticism, I’ve decided to make a counter argument but against myself. Instead of focusing on copious quantities of what these islands lack, let’s switch gears to talk about what they do not lack. Then again, if I actually wrote about what they lacked, you’d never read it. No one has time for a rant that long.

The Chicken: Food walks fearlessly in the midst of those who eat it on these islands, and it’s only on these islands that I’m never afraid to have the chicken. 

Whether it’s Buffalo Wings at any St. Thomas dive, Pineapple Jerk Wings (pictured here) from St. John’s Spyglass, or just plain Fried Chicken Wings from Gertrude's Beach Bar on Jost Van Dyke, the chicken is always fresh and makes for a marvelous meal.

The Hot Sauce:  When the local food selection is more barren than a desert, you need a good sauce to drown it in. While there may not be much variety in the way of food, the variety of locally bottled mouth burners may outnumber the stars in a clear Caribbean sky. Blind Betty is sweet with a small kick, and Miss Anna is sweet as can be before your tastebuds start to convulse.

Calypso is a sweet burn, delightful on chicken and veggies. Uncle Jerome gives a little flavor and enough burn in a drop to make you scream “uncle”. The generic yellow West Indian Hot Sauce found in many a café or bar burns like a whole new hell.

Coconuts: A single large mango will cost you five at the food fair and two barely buys an apple, but four will buy a coconut and three buys the rum for some alcoholic electrolytes. Our Market Smoothies in St. John may look like a run-down shack, but the smoothies are legit, with nothing but real fruit and ice. The coconuts are chilled and cut open in front of your wide tourist eyes, and mine was huge with sweet milk inside. Ask them to cut it open when you’ve sipped your last and use the hard shell to dig out the soft flesh. Afraid that you’ll miss out on the finer St. John sights by spending too much time sipping smoothies in this shack? Not gonna happen. A few minutes of watching their obnoxious video of numerous inebriated guests screaming superficial praises will send you running out the non-existent door in no time.

The Painkiller: This dark rum concoction was invented on Jost Van Dyke, and Soggy Dollar is supposed to make them best. A combination as white as the sandy beach with a topping of nutmeg, this liquid courage will cure anything, from hangover to sunburn to a bad day at the beach. Though let’s face it, no day at the beach is a bad day.

Roti: When I pictured veggie roti, I pictured a pulpy-soft, oversteamed disaster. Not true in a veggie roti, an Indian-bread-married-Caribbean-tofu combination. The Veggie Roti at Gertrude’s was fantastic.

Tofu: Tofu is one of few foods that tastes better processed. Actually, it doesn’t exist unless it’s processed. So no surprise that you can find fabulous Tofu Tacos at places like Taqueria and Spyglass on St. John. But the tofu doesn’t stop there. It permeates the food scene in the form of BBQ to curry to jerk, and also appears in many a vegan lunch.