One of my favorite movies growing up was Princess Diaries, where Anne Hathaway got her start in stardom. You may groan and tell me how this feel-good chick flick stole hours of your life, but I did find a gem of a quote in its sequel.
“It’s not a very difficult job, you know. You just have to open the door before the [person] dies of old age!” said a villainous Viscount Mabry as the butler ambled toward his car. This may be just the rambling of a crotchety old man, but it perfectly summarizes my experience at Wildflower Café.
I often say that some things are worth the wait, but I assure you, the food at Wildflower Café is not. My group of three (and at least three other parties) sat outside for an hour before we were led to the outdoor patio, where we had our choice between four fully-set four-top tables. It bears mentioning that the outdoor patio only has seven or eight tables total. A server came to us immediately and asked us what we would like to drink. We told her we were also ready to order, as one hour was a very adequate amount of time to peruse a menu. Her response was classic. “I don’t take orders. I’m not familiar with the menu”. I don’t know how familiar you need to be with omelets and pancakes, but allow me to borrow one more line from Viscount Mabry. Dear Wildflower Café, “Your staff is incompetent and unreliable”.
The service did not improve between the beginning of the meal and the end, but the food did make the incompetence a little less painful with each bite.
The service was so ridiculous that it brought me back to my terrible twos. Good thing I had the crispy pork sausages and over-easy eggs of the Wildflower Two’s to take care of my tantrum.
I got my two’s with the Wildflower Stack, a delicious berry blend with a nutty finish. This is how pancakes should be made, and it was worth every penny of the extra charge.
I have waited tables in the past, and I do know how hard it can be. Plates are heavy, and sometimes they can burn. I think that’s what happened to our server because that is the only way I can halfway justify her language. I don’t always demand service with a smile because I understand how tired you can be in the middle of a crazy shift, but I do ask that I be spared service with a fuck.
Because that’s what our server said…twice!...as she set the Sun-dried Tomato Omelet in front of us. The omelet was tasty enough, with tangy tomatoes and fresh spinach and basil. But it could have used a little more goat cheese, and our server could have used a little more class.
The Eggs Benedict with smoked salmon were pretty good. The eggs were nicely poached, and the Hollandaise sauce was a little bit runny, but the salmon, eggs, and English muffin were in pretty good proportion.
If you’re in the mood for salmon, I recommend the Benedict over the New York Scramble because between our server’s eloquence and the pool of water I found my eggs in, I’m pretty sure the part of “New York” this dish represents is the Jersey Shore.
It was past lunchtime by the time we got our food, and if it’s lunch you’re craving, I would order something other than the Grilled Portobello Mushroom Melt. The juicy Portobello is just fine, but the thick bread makes it pretty impossible to taste anything else, except the occasional hint of goat cheese.
I had to wonder if they forgot half the ingredients in my sandwich, and if their chefs are as well-trained as the rest of their staff, I suppose I should just be grateful that my food wasn’t raw. I almost never rate a restaurant based solely on service, but Wildflower Café should consider my one-star rating a gift since the service got negative five stars and the food only got three.
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