Thursday, July 24, 2014

Feeding Frenzy at Fogo de Chao - Beverly Hills



My name is Kelsey and I am a glutton. Last month I was a hoarder, but a glutton is just a hoarder of food with self-replenishing storage space. It’s not that I've changed, just that my goals have become more focused and better defined. I think that reflects some personal growth rather than perpetuation of a problem...right? Instead of raiding antique stores, thrift shops, and other people’s attics, I’ve switched to overstaying my welcome at unlimited dining places like Fogo de Chao.

For starters, the Salad Bar is every veggie hoarder’s dream. The impressive array of vegetables fresh and pickled provide a much-needed break from the steak. Bite of meat, bite of pickled onion. Bite of chicken, bite of palm heart. Bite of lamb, bit of caprese in pesto.

I don’t like the term glutton because it implies quantity over quality. At Fogo de Chao you get both and not just with the steak. Be a non-discriminating, quality-oriented glutton and try the signature sides as well as the meat. 

I didn't want to fill up on bread, but saying no to light little rolls full of chewy cheese like the Pao de Queijo is about as plausible as declining the cheddar biscuits at Red Lobster. The Caramelized Bananas are a little too sweet - I would have preferred plantains. You’d think I would have stopped there, but a glutton’s gut is can hold far more than you’d expect. The extra pocket in my third stomach opened right up for the Crispy Polenta, the creamy-gritty high-end take on fries, and the Garlic Mashed Potatoes turned out to be some of the best mashed potatoes I've had. 

Unlimited slices of sixteen savory meats-on-a-stick for sixty-something is already an amazing deal, and the DineLA menu is even better. Eight cuts of meat instead of the usual 16 for $45 is fine by me. The Frango is a whatever bacon-wrapped chicken breast, but I'm just not a fan of chicken. Some how the Costela de Porco never made it to our table – I think they might have substituted it with a bitter cut of Garlic Beef. No big deal, the great thing about hoarding is that the stuff you like less gets buried by the stuff you like more. 


I definitely liked the house special Picanha more. It's juicy and marbled with dripping fat. The Alcatra is a soft sirloin that barely needs a chew. The Linguica is a standard sausage - eat with a full glass of water. The Fraldinha was probably my favorite. This bottom sirloin is red with flavor, and the salt crust rounds it out just right. The Cordiero is my second favorite, a pink leg of lamb that is just the right amount of gamey. 

Sorry for the one unappetizing picture. I know slabs of amorphous bleeding meat on a plate don’t do justice to the glistening cuts on spikes, but it's a pretty authentic portrayal of a hoarder's plate. The photos of me stuffing my face weren’t much better. And if you want to see what a glutton looks like, don't bother with the pictures, just take me there and watch me eat!

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