Notable Noche - Boston

When I first approached the unassuming entrance to Noche, I half expected Riff Raff to open the tall, wooden, black door that led to the basement. The dim descent gave me a taste of how Brad and Janet must have felt in their pursuit of a phone. I already had a phone so I was reluctant to enter this underground Transylvanian mansion, but maybe they had an iPhone 5 I could exchange my dinner voucher for…

Once inside, the sleek modern décor features black walls studded with progressively circular white dots, reminiscent of the red lips that sing your impending double feature at the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Where ever those lips got their lipstick, the nearby table of loud people shops too. That table was so deafening that we must have looked in visible pain since the staff graciously offered to reseat us without us having to ask. +1 star for sensitivity, +3 muzzles for the human megaphones. After a smooth transition to quieter seating at a lower level, we did the Time Warp of food.

Like Riff Raff’s solo, the Fried Paella was astounding – the idea was fleeting. Battering and frying a ball of paella seems like madness, but the seafood delight takes its toll.

The Tuna Crudo was so dreamy, oh fantasy free me, I didn’t forsee it, not at all. The succulent tuna was in another dimension. It was an amazing sensation, not at all sedation, and as out of this world as Magenta’s hair.

After such mind-blowing appetizers, I was all ready to do the Time Warp again with the entrees!

Unfortunately the entrees were about as original as Columbia the groupie. The Filet Mignon was a great medium rare, and the dark, flame-kissed dome of steak with a deep red pool encircling an orange island looked almost like the mansion of the Sweet Transvestite from Transexual (Transylvaniaaaaaa). The mashed sweet potatoes were lighter than air, and I devoured the dish. All that meat gave me an evil wink, and the sweet potato took me by surprise, but overall this dish didn’t get me all shook up – no pick-up truck and a devil’s eye.

The Scallops were well-seared but too salty with a fantastic carrot puree. Noche may not know how to Time Warp but Noche knows how to puree! That amount of salt was as annoying as Columbia’s voice, but no worries, it’s just a jump to the left and a step to the right, away from the salt and toward the carrots. Then put your hands on your hips and bend your knees in tight in anticipation of the dessert.

After the entrée Time Warp, the real fun begins. The Chocolate Chipotle Crème Brulee was tasty with a kick, much like what became of Janet after a brief stint with Frank. Biting into the dirty-brown chocolate, I tasted blood and I wanted more. The crème was creamy, and the after-burn of chipotle lingered.

Sorry Janet, but there’s nothing dirty about the pure white Goat Cheese Cheesecake, and I liked it so much more than the crème brulee. Nothing but clear, creamy flavor and unblemished smooth texture, white as the slip that Janet wore before Frank got to her.
I am a creature of the night, and I may be a creature of Noche as well. The food is undeniably solid, though the appetizers and desserts were by far the more interesting parts of the meal. Then again, Frank was far more interesting than Rocky but that didn’t stop Janet from having Rocky for an entrée, did it?