Epic Eats at Via Matta – Boston

One random Wednesday, I ventured to Via Matta for the same reason Dr. Reed Richards flew to von Doom’s space station – to test my theory that the evolution of amazing food was triggered by brilliant chefs unleashing their cosmic energy clouds in the kitchen, creating food beyond all imagination. Note: Pardon the blurry pics - this is just NOT the kind of place where you use flash.

Upon arrival, I docked safely at a small two-top and dipped into the Ricotta with Crostini. One bite and I knew I had miscalculated the expected level of culinary bliss - the ricotta was so smooth you barely felt it go down. The energy cloud from the blast of cool ricotta spawned my personal Fantastic 4 of food – 4 half-portions of pasta with superpowers that blew my mind…and my tastebuds.

The first of my Fantastic 4 was The Thing, the Proscuitto and Potato Ravioli - a dish with superhuman strength and endurance which unfortunately relied solely on the brute strength of its ingredients. Sadly, the Thing’s fiancée left him after his mutation because she failed to see beyond his tough exterior, and the chef failed to account for the intrinsic properties of his ingredients (i.e. prosciutto is very salty!) because he failed to see beyond the superficial culinary doctrine of “prosciutto is good on and with anything”. Thus, he miscalculated the potato:proscuito ratio, which inadequately neutralized the salt. He even added salt to the spinach and cherry tomatoes, thereby equipping this dish with superhuman endurance of saltiness, enough to outlast 2 full glasses of water.

Next, the Human Torch blazed a flashy trail in the form of Gnocchi with rabbit. I’ve always opposed the idea of devouring a fluffy little cottontail, but it really does taste like a chicken. A more flavorful chicken, and besides, the mere idea of rabbit gives the dish a simultaneously upscale and just-got-back-to-my- hunting-lodge appeal. The flame from the rabbit highlighted this dish’s harmonious ingredients and made the flavors burn bright with all the luxurious comfort of a warm hearth.

Soon the Invisible Girl swooped in to devour my flame. Her force field turned that sizzling dish into a plate of corn and occasional tomato, which hid a hotbed of amorphous Mezzalune. The corn is fresh and light, and the mezzalune are rich and stuffed with what appears to be a creamy savory mix of ricotta and basil. Like the Invisible Girl, this dish disappeared almost as quickly as it appeared.

Last but not least, Mr. Fantastic leads his superhero squad against the forces of evil food by reminding us of just how amazing a simple dish can be. I’ve never had nepitella before, but the flavor of this distinct spice blends with the lemon into a zesty savor in the Pappardelle. This amazing flavor fully seeped through the mushrooms and rendered rubbery ribbons of al dente pappardelle the most amazing pasta dish I’ve ever had. And I’ve spent 3 weeks in Italy.

The Fantastic 4 created quite a storm at my table, but the electrifying Mango Panna Cotta united them., Like Doctor Doom, the panna cotta and mousse were exposed to the energy clouds, which created a hybrid of something too airy to be panna cotta yet too dense to be mousse, topped with electrifying red jalapeno, the most brilliant accompanying flavor I’ve tasted in a long time. The electric jolt of spice from the jalapeno gives the smooth mango and creamy panna cotta an excitement paralleled only by being face to face with Doctor Doom himself.

My epic trip to Via Matta has allowed me to create another Fantastic 4 of my own: David Chang, Ken Oringer, Tom Colicchio, and Michael Schlow. So next time we visit Copely Square, you go to Via Matta and I’ll go buy more incense to burn while we worship at Mr. Schlow’s temple.