Malibu Seafood Fresh Fish Market & Patio Cafe - Malibu

To say that one’s online dating profile can be deceiving is an understatement, and believe me, I would know. So let me spare you some of the smoke by telling you the lessons I’ve learned, and soon you’ll see why Malibu Seafood is the only date I want.

Lesson #1: No one looks like their photo.

Cameras can caress a silhouette, finesse a face, and even make a beer gut disappear. People also have a tendency to think they haven’t aged in the past ten years, so a picture is worth a dozen years. Malibu Seafood, if nothing else, looks like its photo. This modest seafood shack off the permanently-packed PCH may show a little wear-and-tear, but the no-frills plastic-board menu and no-fuss BYOB plastic patio channels a casual charm.

Lesson #2: Everyone exaggerates.

No one needs to about how much back hair you have yet, but how about a fair warning about your tendency to curse like a sailor? But I’m not saying you shouldn’t play up your best features. Cleverly-written profiles make me want to meet you right away, and nothing turns me on like a guy who flashes his Ph.D. The thing is, if the date were an Ahi Tuna Burger, he would have the tendency to think he holds a sashimi-grade patty when what he has really came from a can. The chopped ahi in this burger was a little bit bland.

Lesson #3: Know what your deal-breakers are.

The Grilled Sea Scallops were every bit as amazing as I expected. Fresh, tender scallops, grilled just right with a touch of ginger. The main course is amazing, but don’t forget to pay attention to the sides. No one is perfect, but it’s the little things you have to tolerate. A lackluster personality is the ultimate deal-breaker for me, but it’s up to you to decide whether solid-yet-slightly-boring sides are close enough. The potato salad needs a little salt, and the rice pilaf is forgettable, but I'm okay with it as long as I don't spend the entire date in awkward silence.

When it comes to online dating, I have been unpleasantly surprised time and time again. Apparently even the most insufferable of people can come across as playfully pleasant via text. But not Malibu Seafood. A seafood shack is what you see, and seafood from a shack is exactly what you get. Whether you're looking for a romantic picnic, a casual catch-up with friends, or a serious seafood scarf-down after a canyon hike, Malibu Seafood is a date who’s down for anything.