Momofuku MilkBar – NYC

I’m going to write about Milk Bar as if I’m a lawyer. That is, I’m going to stretch the truth. So that’s not technically a lie. The honest truth is, there isn’t anything cheap about Milk Bar. The prices are fair enough, especially in NYC, but it’s not quite a restaurant. So thanks to the somewhat-loophole in my cheap eats contract, pretty much everything at Milk Bar is under $10 and rich enough to be a meal so I’m gonna call it fair game.

A mere $5 buys you three cookies at Milk Bar and probably any other bakery, a deal I’ll take any day. The Blueberry and Cream has generous chunks of baby blues, the Cornflake Marshmallow is soft gooiness with a contrasting crunch, and the trademark Compost Cookie is a sweet-salty combination thrown together by a cookie-craving baker who ran out of chocolate chips.

The B’day Truffles were the one thing I reallyreallyreally wanted, but they were also the one thing that disappointed me. They were floury and dry, and though they tasted enough like cake batter, they really just missed the mark. There was no loophole big enough to let these through.

I didn’t know it was legal to actually lace food with crack. But the Crack Pie is clearly packing something powerful. The deceptively simple sweet, melt-in-your-mouth combination of butter and sugar makes it impossible to settle for one slice, and a craving as intense as this pie will hit you anytime, anywhere. Only a real lawyer could find a loophole for eating that much butter and refined sugar, and it would take one heck of an attorney to legally justify the crack, but believe me, that's a defense I'd gladly pay for.