Full House at Stephi’s on Tremont UPDATE – Boston

I was missing my familiar friends waiting just around the bend, and I arranged to meet them at Metropolis for brunch one sunny weekend. But when a 30-minute wait is still a 30-minute wait after 30 minutes, I took it as my cue to leave. Whatever happened to predictability? I could have watched in entire episode of Full House in that time! So across the street to Stephi’s on Tremont we went. There was no wait for their outside seating so there we sat. Ah, there’s the predicatability…

service was decent enough, though we waited about as long as it took Uncle Jessie to finally date the beautifully elusive Rebecca Donaldson for some items. Sadly, unlike Becky, the side of home fries wasn’t really worth that kind of epic wait.

The Grand Marnier Battered French Toast was really just no-frills French toast. Several slices of a tasty classic, it’s barely a step up from the much-cheaper Mike’s Diner, and it’s about as sophisticated as the Olsen twins (before they confused boho for hobo and stopped combing their hair).

I decided to be adventurous and try the Ahi Tuna Tartare, which was a mistake comparable to choosing Kimmy Gibbler as a best friend. The tuna itself was quite fresh, but the mushy sour tomatoes drowned it out completely, though the similarity in texture makes the tomato a pretty clever filler. Oh, and they forgot the salt. In everything. Even the spicy mayo couldn’t save that blandness.  Kimmy Gibbler was a lot of things, but she was anything but bland…

I’ve been quite critical of Stephi’s on Tremont this time, and I think you’ll find my criticism well-deserved. I had originally given it 3 stars, but IMHO, it warrants an automatic deduction when you revisit a place and find that there are actually worse things on the menu. The food doesn’t stink like Kimmy’s feet so I’m being generous and only docking half a star, but when it comes time to order, be about as generous as D.J.’s father was to Kimmy and steer clear of the tartare and toast.