Bare Bukhara – Jamaica Plain

Random Hindi lesson: The “a” is pronounced more like a “u”, analogous to the way the “x” is pronounced more like an “s” in Chinese. Therefore, mango lassi is pronounced more like mango “lussi”, which rhymes with fussy and pussy; pussy, as in the colloquialism for purulent, not the fabulous feline in fashionable footwear…what were YOU thinking? Anyway, you should get one. And if you really can’t pronounce it either way, point.

We started with the Paneer Pakora and the Bhel. The pakora was good – fried cheese really can’t be bad, but the breading was a little heavier than I’m used to for pakora. The Bhel was refreshing – add a little extra mint chutney and voila, perfect palate cleanser. If you add enough mint and eat it between bites of cream-laden entrée, you can pretend you’re eating toothpaste…

One major gripe about the side chutneys is that the mango chutney was absolutely painful.  It would have been nice if they had warned us about the 30-minute, desquamating burn, though it’s a great way to make you fussy enough to order multiple lussis…

The Shahi Paneer had nothing tangibly wrong with it, but then again, neither did Miley Cyrus’s photoshoot…nonetheless the tangy flavor of tomato still left an uncomfortable sting, blunted by smart public statements in the form of cupfuls of cream. I’m wondering if the paneer died of drowning in the cream…I just hope it didn’t share my lactose intolerance…(Yes, I’m well aware that paneer is a form of cheese, that’s the joke). I feel bad calling Bukhara out, but the blatant use of cream was as bare as Miley was in the photoshoot…

Unfortunately the Lamb Korma requires further baring…The lamb was barely tender as it could have been, though it was by no means overcooked. Plus the cream obscured the characteristic nutty flavor of the korma and sadly suppressed the spices. Sorry Bukhara, but any chef who would obscure korma has to be nuts.

Indian, Chinese, Indian. You may think this is a slightly scandalous (but not bare!) photo of me with friends at a club appropriately called Guilt, but it’s really my representation of this particular block of Centre Street in JP. From left to right, it’s Ghazal, Chiang’s, and Bukhara. Bukhara happens to be advantageously located around a corner, and its protruding awning adds a bit of flash and a cryptic promise of something grand inside. It’s visible, it’s right there, and it’s the first thing you see when you look to satisfy your craving for Indian. But patience is a virtue, in this case, as in life, patience will take you far. So when that Indian craving hits, go to the nearest bar and wait for the handsome banker instead of grabbing the first nerd you see. Despite its heavy reliance on cream to enhance the food, Bukhara is not la crème de la crème. So there’s a lot of Indian in this city and there’s a lot of restaurants in this town. I tried to pick the right one, and it looks like Ghazal’s curry will hold me down.