Thursday, March 31, 2011

Love Letters for Zocalo - Boston


 

Whether you’re looking for a cozy date night or a good way to break up with someone Legally-Blonde-style, Zocalo is the place to do it. I bet it’s still not too late to make reservations…

You can get your date relaxed with the delectably strong (read: passed out within an hour) half-pitcher of sangria or your now ex can order it to dump into your lap.

Either way, make sure you stay for the food and enjoy the company of the sweetheart assistant manager who is clearly my valentine this year. Last time I went, his suggestion granted me the privilege of the pato con mole, a decadent duck ensconced by a luxuriously silky mole, and his recommendation to my dining partner turned us former skeptics into true believers of the flavorful vegetarian chile relleno. (I hated chile relleno until I ate it here!) The entrees were fantastic but I think the pleasure of his company was chocolate on the mole. Later in the meal, the assistant manager asked us nicely if we could switch tables and for our “trouble”, he sent a half-pitcher of sangria. Who doesn't fall in love after half a pitcher of sangria?

Word from the wise (aka person who found out the hard way): Everyone here is knowledgeable about the food. Your server may subtly tell you what not to order. Learn from my blunder:
Server: And you’ll be having the Pato con Mole with black beans.
(Note: this is not a question, he said this as an actual statement.)
Me: Actually, I’d like sweet plantains.
Server: Well the sweet plantains have crème fraiche on them, I don’t know if you want that…
Me: I can eat cream...

Translation: The sweet plantains are inedibly undercooked and the crème fraiche resembles curdled sour cream. Clearly, when he said I was getting the black beans, I should have, for once in my life, submitted to a man. The side of Mexican rice was okay, but I'm guessing once you go black bean, you never go back.

It is my great pleasure that, aside from a half-star deduction, the sweet plantains disaster did not in ANY way detract from my otherwise flawlessly executed meal (make sure your meal ends with the tres leches cake!), and in the spirit of Valentine’s Day, I would like to declare my undying LOVELOVELOVE to Zocalo. MUAH!

 

Earning a Star on my Boulevard



My standardized rating system will be similar to yelp. 5 stars is just enough, except instead of days of conflicting thoughts on rounding up vs. down, I get to use half-stars. Done deal.

1 Star: Spit it out. 
2 Stars: Send it back.
3 Stars: Swallow. But not like you enjoy it.
4 Stars: Smack your lips. Not too hard.

5 Stars: Succulently sweetly stunningly scrumptious perfection. Seduce the chef.

Not sure if I'll add pricing - it's so easily googled. But ask. And you shall receive.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Deep breath...Here goes...

Thanks to a Facebook suggestion from a friend (thanks Neil!), because everyone knows nothing's official until it's on Facebook, my restaurant reviews from yelp are being consolidated into one scintillatingly sarcastic blog. Without further ado, here are my strongly suggested, don't-get-yourself-deleted guidelines:

The Good: Some of the reviews won't be quite the same as yelp - they may have extra notes since I don't actually need to be concise here. This is good only if you like reading, but if you've read this far, give it a chance! (Please?)
The Bad/Disclaimers: I am scathing, I am blunt, I am brazen, but I am fair. What I write is my opinion only and reflects my perspective on the accumulation of my food-related experiences. I stand by my words, but how you perceive them is up to you.
The Ugly: Please Please PLEASE leave feedback/opinions/arguments. I appreciate ALL feedback - it can only help me! I will not delete any comments if you are specific and not a troll. That is, if you think I suck, please write "you suck!" - no need to sugarcoat for caustic me...BUT please tell me why I suck.
I really hope I don't suck...