Vittles From Versailles – Manhattan Beach

I am the only person I know who hates surprises. I am the only person you know who hates surprises. You say it’s because I’m well-organized, composed, or methodical, but that’s because you’re kind and that’s why we’re friends. I am less kind to myself so let’s just be honest and say I’m too anal retentive to enjoy being surprised. Plus my inability to let go of pretty much anything makes it pretty hard to surprise me. I am planned-to-the-very-last-minute, more-rigid-than-the-royal-wedding, more-mapped-out-than-a-manuscript, more-organized-than-the-perfect-crime. 

Needless to say, I was neither expecting nor desiring any surprises when I went to Versailles. After all, what could possibly be surprising about a Cuban restaurant with the name of a famoso maison francais? And after savoring soft, warm bites of sticky-caramelized gooey-sweet plantains and a side of perfectly-flavored rice and beans, I was feeling pretty secure…until I bit into the Pollo Versailles. I knew the sauce garlic so I expected something smooth with a slight kick. What I got instead was a mojo criollo with sass. The sauce flows as smooth as water, but the garlicky vinegar hit me with all the wrath of a Tabasco-infused Warhead. My eyes watered while I tried to subtly choke…but seriously, how does one subtly choke? But after the initial shock wore off, I only wanted more. And more. And more. And more. Because it's brilliant. The sharp notes of garlic and acid add excitement to a mundane but perfectly-roasted chicken, and when eaten with the raw onions on top, the combination breathes new life into a hearty Cuban staple, though I think I would be breathing death if I were to breathe on anyone after eating that sauce.

If chicken excites you less, the Lechon Asado is the pork version of the pollo, and it really comes down to what you prefer. The comparatively gamier flavor of the soft shredded pork makes the sauce come as less of a shock, but give me the extra excitement any day. I liked it, but I’d pick the chicken every time.

I expect everything, and I’m surprised by nothing except Versailles. And like very few aspects of life, Versailles is slowly showing me that not all surprises should be avoided. I won’t be taking a shot at spontaneity anytime soon, but maybe one day I’ll go out on a limb and make a spur-of-the-moment decision…maybe when I stop shaking just thinking about it…